Slovakia's cycling fans are grabbing each other's asses. Naked men are grabbing naked men's asses. Women are grabbing men's asses and occasionally other women's asses. Parents are forcing their children into acts of ass-grabbing. There's just a lot of ass-fondling going on in Slovakia right now. And it's all for the wrong reasons.
Unless you're a cycling fan, you probably never heard of Peter Sagan until last week, when the 23-year-old Slovak phenom finished second in the Tour of Flanders in Belgium. At the awards ceremony, Sagan mugged for the camera as he pinched the rear of one of the two hostesses giving winner Fabian Cancellara with ceremonial kisses. It was a shitty, childish thing to do. It was also sexual harassment. Making things worse, the event's official Twitter account later broadcast the image to thousands of followers with the caption "Naughty Sagan..."
Sexual harassment is all right, kids, so long as you're being cheeky about it.
Sagan was roundly condemned in media and the cycling establishment, including the likes of British cyclist Michael Hutchinson. He issued a non-apology apology via Twitter ("sorry if someone was disturbed about it," he wrote) as well as a video. But predictably he also found himself with a huge crew of defenders, who saw their hero as the innocent victim of a puritanical society unwilling to just let loose have a little fun with other people's bodies (without their permission).
Fans have set up a Facebook page in Slovak and English where supporters post dozens upon dozens of photographs every day, showing men, women, children, and stuffed animals in various stages of ass-grabbing.
"Touch some ass/Capture it/Post it here" the group's description reads. "Support with your picture Peter's playfulness and oppose puritanism!"
Puritanism! The enemy of playful harassing jerks everywhere.
Here are some of the images from the group. Some of these are NSFW and some rather creepily involve children.
Women throw their support behind the real victim.
Men were looking for an excuse to get naked.
Hey kids, sexual harrassment is easy, and you can do it too!
Photos via Podpor Peťa - Chyť Zadok / Assupport Peter Sagan - touch some ass/Facebook
Rick Astley's 'Uptown Funk' cover is better than a rickroll
We're glad we never gave up Astley.10k
Confederate flag parade goes beautifully wrong
They earned it.9.7k
Texas' attorney general says county clerks can refuse to marry gay couples
Texas' top law-enforcement official isn't giving up.6.7k
Armory builds Iron Man a suit worthy of the Norse gods
Tony Stark would be the most stylish hero in Asgard with this leather armor.
The true story of Ann Pragg, the esports writer who never existed
Ann Pragg was a rising star. Ann Pragg was a special esports talent. Ann Pragg wasn't real.707