hauser

Behold, the greatest Bill Clinton portrait of all time

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Etsy seller Jason "Sharpwriter" Hauser started designing his oddly hilarious historical prints of American heroes two years ago when he was jobless and looking for some ways to fill his time.

What started as a hobby quickly turned into somewhat of an online résumé. In the 16 months since he opened his Epic Art Store, Hauser has taken a job with a San Francisco gaming company and maintained a pretty sustainable side business selling prints, crazy portraits that include images of Ronald Reagan riding on a velociraptor and George Washington fending off a horde of zombies.

His latest is a scene worth marveling over: Bill Clinton invoking dominance over an alligator strapped with a time bomb. Read that correctly? Here, have a look.

Below, a quick list of all the things we love about this print that we believe are worth mentioning.

  • He's smoking a cigarette.
  • His pants are undone.
  • It looks like he tucks his shirt into his boxers.
  • The lipstick on the collar goes a long way.
  • He's strapped with two automatic guns and a tenor saxophone.
  • Obviously, that's Monica Lewinsky on the left leg.
  • And Ronald McDonald is helping him out. (Why not? Big Bill practically kept the clown in business during his two terms as president.)

Hauser's print is 11" x 17" and sells for $25. Order here, or Slick Willy will have to wag a finger at ya.

Correction: The instrument in the painting is a tenor sexophone, not a baritone. We regret the error. 

Photo via Jason Hauser/Etsy