- George Zimmerman is suing Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren 4 Years Ago
- Netflix’s ‘Horse Girl’ accused of ripping off 2017 indie film 4 Years Ago
- The Genyus Network is a safe social space for stroke survivors 4 Years Ago
- MAGA hat-wearing dog finishes last in ‘Today Show’ fan vote—still named winner 4 Years Ago
- Reddit users share stories of the worst things guests have done in their homes Today 1:25 PM
- WikiLeaks lawyer says Trump offered Assange a pardon—if he’d deny Russian hack Today 1:16 PM
- 6-year-old placed in psychiatric facility for ‘trantrum’ is seen acting calm in body cam footage Today 1:05 PM
- Amy Klobuchar devouring Ivanka Trump is the 2020 vore crossover no one wanted Today 12:32 PM
- Review: Hulu’s ‘Devs’ is a brilliant work of near-future science fiction Today 11:53 AM
- Rapper Pop Smoke dead at 20 Today 11:42 AM
- KSI says he will back Team YouTube if Logan Paul fights Antonio Brown Today 11:29 AM
- William Barr questions whether tech companies should be protected for user content Today 11:10 AM
- The Bloomberg campaign has reached its post-parody zenith Today 10:35 AM
- Ben Affleck explains why he lied about his back tattoo Today 10:28 AM
- Kim Kardashian West accidentally praises Jeff Bezos for threatening to fire employees Today 10:19 AM
Donald Trump could very well be the the 45th President of the United States and you know what? It wouldn’t actually be that bad. Here’s why.
1) America will be great again
Everyone knows that America, right now, is the complete opposite of great. Way back when, America was a land where dreams were made of and a place of rich opportunity and prosperity. In 2016, America is not great at all. Donald Trump will make the country what it needs to be again: great. Obviously he’s the only one that knows how to do this.
2) Your racist cousins will get to be racist in public
Not only is Donald Trump sexist, but he has a hard time seeing things from the perspective of anyone who’s not orange. He is the perfect candidate for your backwards-thinking cousin who wants to build a border wall, dislikes Obama, and wants America to be great again. Donald Trump brings all the racists to the yard, and your cousin will finally have an open community in which to express his ignorant frustrations.
3) People will finally move to Canada
They’ve been talking about moving to Canada for years, and if Donald Trump makes it to the White House, extreme Trump haters can do just that. Sure, record deportations and extreme police brutality have been plaguing the country for years and they still didn’t move to Canada—but never mind that. Donald Trump becoming president would definitely be the straw that broke the camel’s back. (The camel represents not moving to Canada.)
4) Melania Trump will be the First Lady
No one knows exactly what Melania Trump does, and if she becomes the First Lady of the United States, we can finally find out.
5) There will be another civil war
A civil war hasn’t happened here in years. But now that Donald Trump is that much closer to being the ruler of the free world (lol), we might as well have another. A war in this country would somehow make America great again. Let that idea ruminate for a minute.
6) Melania Trump will be deported
Donald seems to have a problem with immigrants, so if he becomes president, Slovenian immigrant Melania’s days here are numbered.