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Food is good. It’s nourishing, sustaining, and downright delectable. In a world rife with myriad daily horrors, why would you try to make food—perhaps our one last saving grace—worse?
Reader, I do not know.
But after a disturbing toaster strudel picture went mega-viral, now the teens are turning Pop-Tarts into downright abominations.
It started in Iowa, where a student at Iowa State University put a slice of American cheese in between two store brand Pop-Tarts and rode it into online infamy.
You ain’t from Iowa if you never had one of these 😤 pic.twitter.com/KSHyLD0mhv— Chris Jorgensen (@cjorgensen79) November 10, 2017
What really sent the tweet into the stratosphere though was a RT by the Iowa State campus police.
You’re under arrest https://t.co/ixOFBuN2pQ— IowaStateU Police (@ISUPD) November 13, 2017
Now, the joke construction is a meme.
You guys aint from Illinois if you dont put mustard on your poptarts pic.twitter.com/drKltNBReF— skrrrt god (@adumsteeves) November 22, 2017
You ain’t from Oklahoma if you don’t dip your Pop Tart in Ranch Dressing 🤷🏼♀️ pic.twitter.com/yLLuPM4Gyp— ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕪 𝕋𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕠𝕣 (@cjt12371) November 16, 2017
It’s spread to other flat foods.
And other big brand names.
Of course, you can’t strike viral gold twice. Unless you catch the eye of the brand behind it all. Which the ranch-dipped Pop-Tart did.
This is just disrespectful https://t.co/jmdXANjILq— Pop-Tarts (@PopTartsUS) November 20, 2017
It’s not quite Iowa State-police-tweet good, but it did it one better: It killed this trend.
Although, you know what? I take this back. This one is good.
You ain't from Maryland if you don't douse you pop tart in some old bay pic.twitter.com/ixfRXzbwtF— seanyy (@Seanyy_Swerve) November 22, 2017
I would try that once.
David Covucci is the Layer 8 editor at the Daily Dot, covering the intersection of politics and the web. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications. He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected]