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In case you missed it, about a week ago a story emerged about one of the worst first dates in history. After messaging on Tinder, Liam Smyth of Bristol, England, met up with a young lady (who Smyth has kindly kept anonymous). They had a lovely meal at Nandos and went back to his place to watch a documentary on Netflix. At some point, the woman in question excused herself to use the restroom and came back sometime later with a panicked look in her eyes. It seems madam had taken a poo in Smyth’s toilet but was unable to get it to flush so, in a logic-defying moment, she fished out the little brown rascal, wrapped it in paper, and threw it out the window.
The only problem (well okay there are obviously many problems, but this is the big one), is that the window in question didn’t actually open to the outside world. Behind it was another pane of glass, and this one didn’t open. Meaning the offending turd was left on display between two panes of glass like some sort of horrible modern art exhibit.
Long story short, Smyth’s date was convinced the only way to get the offensive package out was to reach down and grab it. Which lead to this situation.
Which lead to this situation.
The lady was safely removed and the couple even plans to see each other again. The only damage was the window, which the firefighters had to smash. A small price to pay, and one Smyth more than covered with his GoFundMe page. In fact, the page made so much money that Smyth donated the excess funds to two charities. One to help firefighters and one that helps build and maintain flush toilets in the developing world.
It’s a happy ending to what could have been a tragic tale, but obviously, the public wasn’t letting go of a story this good too quickly. Smyth became a viral hit and he landed a spot on This Morning, a popular British morning show.
The show went all out and built a prop of Smyth’s window situation so he could re-enact exactly what when down in his restroom that night.
Host Holly Willoughby pointed out that it might be hard for the woman to keep anonymity if she goes on another date with Smyth. “Surely the moment you go to Nando’s, everyone going to go ‘well that’s her then because she’s with him.'”
Smyth admitted that was a possibility but felt it was worth the risk. “I certainly owe her a drink after all of this.” he said. “Although I would tell her to go to the upstairs bathroom.”
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.