10 terrible ‘treats’ you shouldn’t give out on Halloween

If someone hands you one of these so-called treats, run the other way.

 

Marisa Kabas

Internet Culture

Published Oct 30, 2014   Updated May 30, 2021, 7:36 am CDT

Everyone had that one neighbor when they were growing up who tried to get creative on Halloween by passing out stale popcorn balls in lieu of candy. As the discussion about the childhood obesity epidemic in this country intensifies, Halloween has become a target for parents looking to nip their kids’ sugar problem in the bud. Many parents go to great lengths to deprive their children of GMOs and processed sugars. The results are depressing enough to ruin any Halloween experience.

Featured Video Hide

After cruising the #HealthyHalloween hashtag, we found some some nutritious treats that are spookier than your local haunted house.

Advertisement Hide

1) Green goblin smoothies

Photo via Real Mom Nutrition

What’s the recipe for turning all the neighborhood children against you? Two bananas, Two cups water, one cup pineapple (fresh, frozen, or canned in juice), and two large handfuls spinach or kale. Add a dash of spite for extra taste.

2) Orange jack-o-lantern fruit cups

Advertisement Hide

 

Photo via Frugal Coupon Living 

Not only is this jack-o-lantern not actually a pumpkin, but it’s filled with fruit—the very thing children are forced to eat the other 364 days of the year.

Advertisement Hide

3) Nuts

 

Photo via Doctor Doni

One doctor suggested that instead of candy, you can give your children nuts. Yes, nuts. He also suggests beef or turkey jerky, almond butter, or colored pencils. He should change his name to Dr. Evil.

Advertisement Hide

4) Boiled egg ghosts

 

Photo via The Nutrition Mom

You’re basically asking for these to be thrown at your house.

Advertisement Hide

5) Healthy Halloween “eye”

 

Photo via H3Daily.com

There’s nothing trick-or-treaters love more than panna cotta topped off with a kiwi slice. Enjoy spending an inordinate amount of time slaving over this creation that will go the way of smashed pumpkins.

Advertisement Hide

6) Organic pumpkin puree pouches

Photo via Peter Rabbit Organics

This Halloween, you could surprise the kids in your neighborhood with a pureed veggie blend—perhaps pumpkin, carrot. and apple flavor—from Peter Rabbit Organics. Each pouch is conveniently packaged, making it easy to clean up after the kids splatter it on your porch.

7) Banana ghosts and clementine pumpkins

Advertisement Hide

Photo via Princess Pinky Girl

There is no way to make a banana not look like a penis. At best, this is a ghost penis. And clementines have no business anywhere near Halloween. Get back to the lunch room, clementines.

8) Monster mouths

Advertisement Hide

Photo via NetMums

All it takes is two apple slices, some peanut butter and a few yogurt-covered raisins to ensure that no one trick-or-treats at your house ever again.

9) Raw carrot cake balls

Photo via CBC

Advertisement Hide

Nutritious. Vegan. Grounds for homicide.

10) Raw pumpkin seeds

Photo via GoRaw/Twitter

Advertisement Hide

Hand a fistful of these to trick-or-treaters right after you tell them that Santa Claus and the tooth fairy don’t exist. You won’t be able to tell what made them cry.

Happy Halloween, kids!

Photo via Steven Depolo/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Share this article
*First Published: Oct 30, 2014, 11:00 am CDT