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Arthur Malov is the guy you’ve been avoiding your whole life.
Every now and then, you need to break from the flow of hot viral videos to screen a lost, cringeworthy classic. Today’s is a profoundly sad and soulless primer on workplace flirtation.
What are Arthur Malov’s romantic credentials? Well, he self-published a pick-up artist pamphlet and works as a professional dating coach—with a company he founded. But let’s not forget that lank hair, the worrying eyebrows, and those creepy mannerisms. You can tell his female costar is into his playful memo patter by the way she patiently waits for him to leave her cubicle.
If you want an equally noxious chaser, here’s Malov explaining how to create first-kiss opportunities with a thumb war or “shoulder pushes.” Whatever you say, Casanova.
Now get out there and hit on someone—you can’t possibly be more awkward than this dude.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'