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The hard seltzer market has reached near-saturation, with just about every American brewing company throwing a hat into the ring. Anheuser-Busch has got Bon & Viv, Mark Anthony Brands (of Mike’s Hard Lemonade) of course has White Claw, Boston Beer Company has Truly Hard Seltzer, and Henry’s now has a sparkling hard water. And just this week, it was announced that Natural Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Four Loko were all testing higher alcohol versions.
Four Loko hard seltzer memes
That's right, we made a f***ing seltzer.— Natural Light (@naturallight) August 12, 2019
Introducing the two newest members of the Natural Light fam: Catalina Lime Mixer & Aloha Beaches. 6% ABV hard seltzer. LFG pic.twitter.com/MXAcGuCQVE
Permanently 8% ABV. Much like that tattoo.— Pabst Blue Ribbon (@PabstBlueRibbon) August 13, 2019
Our new Stronger Seltzer with 8% ABV is now available in Texas, Arizona, California and Montana.
Find it near you: https://t.co/Hsn8JSvQyf pic.twitter.com/ax4PEYlC1c
But while Natty and PBR’s seltzers ABV clock in at 6% and 8%, respectively, Four Loko has—as the brand is wont to do—taken things to the extreme with a blue raspberry-flavored hard seltzer that packs a whopping 14% punch. And yes, it does appear to come in the company’s trademark 16-ounce pounder size.
“Hard Seltzers ran so we could fly,” Four Loko tweeted on Tuesday, announcing the brand’s foray into spiked seltzer, mimicking a popular White Claw meme.
Hard Seltzers ran so we could fly pic.twitter.com/g5ilBIyhl4— Four Loko (@fourloko) August 13, 2019
Immediately, speculation began as to what this Frankenstein’s monster of hard seltzer would actually taste like. The can describes it as “with hint of of blue razz.” But again, at 14%, “hint” seems like the last adjective we’d use to describe this product.
Not surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the Four Loko seltzer memes to start coming in hot, spearheaded by the brand itself. Clearly, Four Loko knew exactly what it was doing by furiously punching a hole into the hard seltzer arena like a hopped-up 14% ABV Kool-Aid Man.
Spiked seltzer:— Four Loko (@fourloko) August 14, 2019
and I OOP- pic.twitter.com/weunHyIMfm— Four Loko (@fourloko) August 14, 2019
Others also naturally jumped aboard the Four Loko seltzer train with plenty of jokes and memes:
white claw: “only 100 calories and 5% ABV hehe girls night!”— Benjamin A. Vorwerk (@bvorwerk) August 14, 2019
four loko seltzer: “14% who’s ready to die”
drinking White Claw v. drinking Four Loko seltzer pic.twitter.com/SADTZcH4YJ— pwnteam (@pwnteam) August 14, 2019
Me: “I mean it’s just a spiked seltzer right?”— Spenser Harvey (@SpenserHarvey) August 14, 2019
*buys two Four Loko Sour Seltzer with a Hint of Blue Razz*
Me 48 hours later and in Panama: pic.twitter.com/0cV4yhZPRJ
“Isn’t 14% too much?”— J. Barrientos (@glassofsapphire) August 14, 2019
Four loko CEO: pic.twitter.com/XNZ2IFnY7P
me seeing that Four Loko now has hard seltzer with FOURTEEN PERCENT alcohol pic.twitter.com/MNSwI4RAlJ— allison (@notblueperson) August 14, 2019
White Claw: we’re 5% ABV and trendier than beer— Jill (@JillHurley18) August 14, 2019
Natty Seltzer: we’re 6% ABV, fuck you White Claw
PBR Seltzer: we’re 8% ABV and you don’t have to be embarrassed by being caught with a Natty post-college
Four Loko Seltzer: WE’RE 14% ABV AND THERES A 50% CHANCE YOU DIE
Me buying and drinking the four loko seltzer’s simply because they’re 14% alcohol pic.twitter.com/x5lsfaeBqW— Huner With a T (@hrobi36) August 14, 2019
Four Loko coming out with a seltzer is like your toxic ex becoming hot and guess who’s crawling back baby— salad (@defnotsally) August 14, 2019
Me the next day after blacking out because of Four Loko Seltzer pic.twitter.com/GeW89kK65g— Follow (@Kofie) August 13, 2019
But not everyone is worked up into a cold sweat in abject horror of the mere thought of a 14% Four Loko hard seltzer:
Hey, better them than us.
Stacey Ritzen is a reporter and editor based in West Philadelphia with over 10 years' experience covering pop culture, web culture, entertainment, and news. You can follow her on Twitter @staceyritzen.