Mondays don’t get much worse than this: The World Health Organization just confirmed our worst fears by declaring processed meats—including hamburgers, sausages, and your beloved bacon—a serious cancer risk.
At this point you may be tempted to throw up your hands, declare that everything causes cancer, and break out the frying pan. But don’t despair, people! There are still plenty of foods, habits, products, and activities that haven’t been linked to cancer yet. Enjoy them while you can:
Cigarettes Alcohol Cell phones The sun Breathing Kissing Marijuana Deodorant Peanut butter Shellfish The Vatican Jewelry Hot tea Brooms Sugar Eggs Candles Apples Salmon Soda Diet soda Oral sex Canned foods Chinese food Chewing gum Parents Microwave popcorn Baked goods Parasitic worms Wearing a bra Mammograms Working the night shift Birth control pills
Photo via Aidan Jones/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)