- The ’24 hours to respond’ meme holds celebrities to a higher standard Monday 8:46 PM
- Twitter users miss the kids who walked in on their dad’s interview Monday 8:40 PM
- ‘The Thing About Men’ Twitter hashtag is full of sarcasm and misogyny Monday 7:27 PM
- This woman said Hillary Clinton losing the 2016 election gave her PTSD, and people are furious Monday 6:45 PM
- Vanessa Bryant files a lawsuit against helicopter company after deaths of Kobe and Gianna Monday 5:49 PM
- Michael Jordan cries at Kobe Bryant memorial, jokes about creating a new meme Monday 4:43 PM
- Woman’s boyfriend says it’s him or the frogs—Reddit says choose the frogs Monday 4:22 PM
- Greyhound buses will no longer allow Border Patrol checks Monday 4:04 PM
- ‘Eat Them To Defeat Them’ is oddly about vegetables—not about eating the rich Monday 3:26 PM
- Marco Rubio mocked for filming talking while driving socialism critique Monday 2:54 PM
- QAnon believer asks Trump’s campaign press secretary who Q is Monday 2:36 PM
- Octavia Spencer has discovered ‘Ma’ memes—and she can’t get enough Monday 2:09 PM
- Meet the anti-Greta Thunberg, a climate ‘skeptic’ funded by the oil industry Monday 1:12 PM
- Harvey Weinstein convicted of rape and sexual assault Monday 12:56 PM
- Senator calls Facebook’s current election disinformation efforts ‘inadequate’ in letter Monday 12:11 PM
Whatever you think about the Japanese snow macaque Darwin, better known as the IKEA monkey, you have to admit: He was well-behaved.
The same cannot, unfortunately, be said for the diaper-wearing monkey spotted by Richelle Stewart in the parking lot of a Walmart of Lancaster, Ohio, which appeared to be assaulting an employee there before it was dragged off by its… owner? Totally normal and fine, nothing to see here.
“A spokesperson for Walmart said the employee was not bitten,” despite a 911 call to the contrary, KSNW-TV reported. “The Department of Agriculture is now trying to track down the woman. It is concerned that if the woman is a resident of Ohio, the monkey may not registered.”
The best part of all this: how utterly unfazed the guy is after being attacked by a rogue monkey in a Walmart parking lot in Ohio. To the question “whose monkey is that?” he can only shrug—and then go on with his day, knowing that, from this moment forward, for any reason, he may be attacked by a monkey wearing a diaper. That is the face of courage, folks.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'