As a busy journalist too poor to throw away $12 on the latest entry in Marvel‘s endless superhero saga—and someone who would never, ever pirate a multibillion-dollar entertainment conglomerate’s stolen intellectual property—I have yet to see Captain America: Civil War.
But that’s OK! In no time at all, this brawny blockbuster has become one of the most meme-ified movies in living memory. So I got the gist of the plot through Twitter, Tumblr, and Imgur, and now I can explain it to you.
Basically, Steve Rogers/Captain America is really old.
But I guess Cap tolerates all this because Bucky has some decency deep down within him—and is struggling with an amputation. (This is probably covered in the last movie, which I also never got around to watching.)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'