A woman recorded her first date with a man coming apart at the seams after she refused to leave his car when she discovered he was taking her to The Cheesecake Factory.
The nearly 7-minute video has received over 912,000 views since it was posted on Wednesday. It comes from TikTok creator Monique Santos (@moniquesantos09), though Santos has since posted a follow-up stating that she is not the woman in the video.
In the initial viral TikTok, the woman put the man on camera and told him several times throughout the conversation that due to the way she got dressed up, The Cheesecake Factory wasn’t an appropriate venue for a first date.
Her date asked her if she was willing to discuss her gripes with him taking her to the restaurant, and after hearing their discourse, throngs of commenters sided with the man and how he decided to handle being put on the spot.
In the clip, an on-screen caption reads, “First Date: She refused to get out the car because he took her to The Cheesecake Factory.”
A woman wearing sunglasses and a green dress records herself smiling into the camera as she adjusts her hair. A man off-camera says, “Let me just get the door for you,” to which the woman politely agrees. It sounds like the individual off-camera, presumably her date, exits the vehicle. After the door closes, the woman murmurs, “He got me at The Cheesecake Factory, y’all. I ain’t getting out this car.”
The woman then appears to lock the door, and the sounds of the man struggling to open it from the outside can be heard. After the struggle, the woman rolls down the passenger side window and asks, “Yes?” while visibly upset.
The man outside of the car asks, quixotically, if she wants him to open the door for her. She then turns the camera around to include the man in her video, and he asks if she’s recording him. “Yeah, yeah,” she says slowly. “This is The Cheesecake Factory. This is The Cheesecake Factory, y’all,” she repeats, removing her sunglasses and staring wide-eyed into the camera.
“What’s the problem with that?” the man asks. The woman responds that it’s a “chain restaurant” and questions who would take someone who looks like her to a chain restaurant. The guy asks her if she wants to talk about it, and she says that she does, indeed, want to discuss the matter, telling the man to get inside the car.
He asks her if she expects a man to “go all out on the first date,” to which she says that he’s “supposed to” because of the way that she looks.
The woman goes on to say that if you’re “courting” a woman, you’re supposed to “cherish her” and “treat her well.” The man replies that he agrees with this and has no problem paying for her food, picking her up, and respecting her, but that he expects the same respect in kind.
She goes on to say that she feels like she’s doing everything she’s supposed to be doing “as a woman.” The man then shows her that he initially planned to take her to a nicer restaurant but says it was no longer an option because it took her an hour to come out of her apartment when he went to pick her up at 4 p.m.
@moniquelsantos09 #fyp #foryoupage #dating #relationship #datinglife #datingover30 #blackrelationships ♬ original sound – Monique Santos
The woman explains that she didn’t expect work to keep her as long as it did and that she didn’t feel comfortable inviting him up to her apartment because they’re not at that stage of knowing each other. He says he completely understands and respects that point, adding that he’s not necessarily comfortable going all out and taking her to a fancy restaurant, “especially if [he’s] paying for the whole thing.”
She argues that they weren’t “that late,” but he says that they ended up leaving her place at the time “that the reservation was supposed to be.”
“Look at me. I cannot go in The Cheesecake Factory,” she says again, referencing her aesthetic as her reasoning for not going inside the popular chain, adding that it would be “embarrassing.”
The guy goes on to say that he sees she has “specific expectations” for the relationship and that they are “maybe not right for each other” as a result. “So, respectfully, I’m just gonna drop you off at home,” he says.
“So you just want to call it a night?” she asks. “I mean, isn’t there some kind of compromise or something?”
“Ladies, can you believe this?” she asks into the camera after the man puts on his seat belt and begins to drive away.
He says that if he doesn’t “feel respected,” he’s not going to go through with the entirety of the date he had planned.
“I mean, you are serious. You’re really leaving,” she says as the man continues to drive away from the establishment. “I mean, I understand I was late; I understand that. I understand that I could’ve been a bit more cooperative. You made some good points; that’s why I’m willing to compromise. Are you sure you wanna go home?” she asks him.
He says that he doesn’t have a lot of rules or “expectations” for a first date but that she’s “broken” every one of the few that he has, so he’s just going to drop her off at home.
She ends the video by fixing her hair again and telling the man, “I understand where you’re coming from,” while looking into the camera.
Several commenters who watched the video quipped that the woman must’ve listened to relationship advice from an influencer referred to as “sprinkle sprinkle” and that her decision to do so may have ultimately backfired.
“She tested him with advice from sprinkle sprinkle and ended up IN DISAPPOINTMENT it was all on her face,” one said.
Another penned, “She been listening to the sprinkle sprinkle lady.”
Some remarked that the man in question “dodged a bullet” and that there’s nothing wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory.
“What’s wrong with the cheesecake factory??” one person questioned.
Another said, “He’s right for doing that. He communicated properly, was respectful, and knows his worth. I also love the Cheesecake Factory.. lol.”
Other commenters said the woman was deluded as to the appropriateness of her aesthetic for the restaurant she wanted to dine at.
“The lashes, the lipstick the outfit scream Applebees,” one wrote.
The Daily Dot contacted The Cheesecake Factory via email and Santos via TikTok comment for further information.