A bartender kept trying to get a man to drink alcohol. Commenters think she was way out of line.
Unlike some other professions, which have a real or implied code on how you should treat people, there isn’t one for bartenders. (In fact, plenty of bartenders are able to work without even getting a license.)
This lack of regulation means that while many bartenders take their role seriously—respecting boundaries, prioritizing responsible alcohol consumption, and keeping an eye out for customer safety—others aren’t so keen or outright cross boundaries.
At best, it’s annoying; at worst, it can put someone in a dangerous situation.
Bartender peer-pressures man into drinking
In a viral video with more than 2.7 million views, musician and silly goose Gabe Pietrafesa shared the uncomfortable interaction he had at a wedding this past weekend.
Pietrafesa says he went to the bar and ordered a Shirley Temple, a classic nonalcoholic drink made with ginger ale and a splash of grenadine, topped with a maraschino cherry.
He says the bartender let him know he could get it dirty (aka with alcohol).
“Clean Shirley for me,” he says he assured her.
He says the bartender reluctantly handed it to him. It was an open bar, and she was pouring drinks heavily, so Pietrafesa says he understood her logic.
Based on his mention of Dry January (when people choose to ring in the first month of the new year by not drinking) and #sobriety in his bio, Pietrafesa is in the temporary or continual habit of refraining from alcohol.
Pietrafesa says he walked back to his table with the red drink and got a bunch of laughs for the choice.
Pietrafesa adds that he eventually made his way back for a Diet Coke.
“‘Hey, it’s the Shirley Temple guy. You want another one? Dirty this time?’” he recalls her asking.
Hating confrontation and not wanting to let her down, he says he accepted another Shirley, which he actually didn’t want.
Now, the table of guests looks at him, confused about his second Shirley, he says.
“I agree. It’s too much sugar. I didn’t want it,” Pietrafesa says. “I wanted a Diet Coke.”
The third time around, he says the bartender insisted on making his drink dirty, and Pietrafesa joked that if he had that, he’d be kissing the bride and maybe even the groom.
“She didn’t think that was funny,” Pietrafesa says.
Pietrafesa says he eventually explained to her that he doesn’t drink alcohol.
In the end, he says she gave him a third Shirley Temple.
“I didn’t even drink one Diet Coke that night,” he says.
It’s not cool to pressure people to drink
Alcohol is a core part of American culture, especially in social settings (about 85% of people 12 and over have had a drink, and 10% of drinkers abuse alcohol), but not everyone partakes, and that’s OK.
There are so many clear reasons why you shouldn’t pressure somebody to drink.
First, who are you to pressure someone to drink alcohol when they don’t want to? If a person says no, whether it’s implied by their beverage choice or stated outright, that should be respected.
There are also scenarios in which a person can’t drink, like if they’re pregnant, on medication, have a history of addiction, it goes against their religious beliefs, or they’re driving home.
A bartender’s job is to create a welcoming space for all, and there shouldn’t be a dynamic in which they’re the one peer-pressuring you into consuming alcohol, potentially making the rest of your night uncomfortable.
Commenters react
“It’s super weird to force alcohol on people as a bartender,” the top comment, with more than 95,000 likes, read.
“The worst part about not drinking is everyone else,” a person said.
“As a newly pregnant person who’s not ready to announce yet… these bartenders DO NOT understand how to just roll with it,” another wrote.
“As a bartender, the fact she didn’t catch on by the second is INSANE,” a commenter chimed in.
@gabepietrafesa the official beverage of dry january #fyp #sobriety ♬ original sound – 06nissan
The Daily Dot reached out to Pietrafesa for comment via email and Instagram direct message.
Internet culture is chaotic—but we’ll break it down for you in one daily email. Sign up for the Daily Dot’s web_crawlr newsletter here. You’ll get the best (and worst) of the internet straight into your inbox.
