IRL

Woman goes to singles mixer—only women show up, sparking debate

‘Somebody literally created a space where men can approach women that want to be approached … and men saw that as strange.’

Photo of Brooke Sjoberg

Brooke Sjoberg

women outside on restaurant patio seating with caption 'went to a singles mixer... and only women showed up'

A discussion of singles mixers and modern dating dynamics has taken shape on TikTok after a woman filmed herself at a mixer that she claimed only women showed up to.

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In her video, @dannyd2cute shows the event that was intended to be attended by both men and women was lacking in the former.

“Single forever,” the video, which was viewed nearly 500,000 times, is captioned.

@dannyd2cute Single forever #fyp #funny ♬ original sound – SheSoPr3tty
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Some commenters were critical of events like these that are geared toward providing a forum for available men and women to meet.

“Woah, you think I’ma show up to something y’all gon’ criticize me from the time I walk in, ie; what I drove, wore, talk, ate, etc.,” one commenter wrote.

“Five bros could’ve walked in and the women would’ve went to judging them from head to toe,” another said.

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“I mean y’all said y’all have fun without us and ‘y’all don’t dress up for us,’ so mingle with the single,” a commenter wrote.

Others, however, were critical of the way many men responded to the video.

“All these ‘men’ judging these women like they know these women personally,” one commenter wrote. “Why y’all so quick to rejoice at single women? Kinda sus.”

“Whee the comments,” a commenter wrote. “Why are y’all projecting all these things onto to these women yall don’t even know?”

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“Its the comments for me lol,” another commenter wrote. “This shouldn’t have triggered y’all emotions in this way lol.”

The video was eventually stitched by a popular content creator, @pierrefleury_, who found it odd that men were mocking a space created for them to meet available women.

“So this went viral on Twitter, and it got me thinking about something I already knew and put it in a different perspective for me,” he says. “Because men were in the comments saying, ‘Oh this is weird, strange, looks desperate.’ And what’s wild to me is that somebody literally created a space where men can approach women that want to be approached and talk to women that want to be talked to, and men saw that as strange.”

@pierrefleury_ #stitch with @dannyd2cute ♬ original sound – King Pierre. 🦁
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He concludes that in his opinion, men think any woman outside of a home is available, calling it “entitlement.”

Viewers applauded @pierrefleury_’s points, arguing “you sound like you actually listen to women” or simply “has some decent critical thinking skills to see the big picture.”

“Why would men meet us halfway when they can approach us when we can’t escape,” one woman sarcastically said. “Like when we are at work or pumping gas … happened to me monday.”

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“If men aren’t breaking a woman’s boundaries it doesn’t feel right to him,” another claimed.

“Non consent attracts them more than a consenting space,” another said.

@pierrefleury_ has nearly 100,000 followers on the platform, and his stitch was viewed 1.6 million times.

The Daily Dot has reached out to both @dannyd2cute and @pierrefleury_ via Instagram direct message.

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Update 2:59pm CT June 26: In a Zoom interview with the Daily Dot, user @pierrefleury_, an author who works at a domestic violence shelter, urged male viewers to think about how the patriarchy plays a role in their approach toward women.

“The patriarchy is a real thing,” he said. It does harm (to) men as much as the women. It was to understand that and understand that if a person isn’t rejecting you, or saying no to you, for whatever reason, take that for what it is, just a rejection. It’s not saying you’re a bad person, or you’re a terrible person. It’s just the person doesn’t want you.”

The creator notes that he’s been making similar content for years, so the response to his stitch wasn’t surprising. “Women who already know what that’s like, they feel happy to see a man talking about it,” he said. “But it’s also a lot of men  just calling me a ‘pick me’ or panderer or simp, whatever it is, I’m used to those comments, they don’t really bother me.”

After first seeing the video on Twitter, @pierrefluery_ says he saw many men claiming that guys weren’t there because the event looked “strange” or would seem “desperate.”

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“Like, ‘No real man goes to that,’ or, ‘What’s the point of going into those spaces like this, when [they can meet women on] apps like Hinge and Bumble, or even Instagram or Twitter, or even in person,’” he said, noting some men’s response to the event.

However, he argues that the event is a great safe space to meet women who are actually interested.

“This is literally the perfect place for you to approach women that are single, that are available, that want to be approached,” he concludes. “I’m thinking about it, like, would you rather approach them places where they don’t want to be approached?”


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