Bill Clinton has an illegitimate son with a street hooker and Lyndon B. Johnson is responsible for the murder of John F. Kennedy.
Or at least that’s the perspective the newly elected Travis County Republican Chairman Robert Morrow brings to the updated chapter of Texas politics.
“I love exposing these criminals, murderers, rapists, and also sexual hypocrites,” Morrow told the Daily Dot. “I consider that to be a political service.”
Morrow is referring the “politicians and media scum” he is adamantly working to uncover. Since news broke of his social media and blogging presence—riddled with photos of large-breasted women and allegations of former Gov. Rick Perry’s “rampaging bisexual” tendencies—his Twitter following has grown from 1,900 to 4,400 in a day and half.
“There’s a lot of people who are very happy with what Robert Morrow is doing,” he said of himself. “They like that I’m dishing out political truth on these political slime and vermin who run American politics.”
Travis County, the region including Austin, Texas, elected Morrow on Super Tuesday. He attributes his campaign success to being the first name listed on the ballot, and not the considerable online following he has accumulated by being vocal on his outlandish political views.
He’s built what he refers to as his “expertise on deep politics” by reading the thousands of books the independent political researcher claims he owns.
“My true expertise, the J.F.K. assassination and Lyndon Johnson’s role in murdering John Kennedy. That’s my greatest passion and my truest expertise. I’ve got 400 books on that, so I’m very knowledgeable about that,” he said.
And he’s got plenty to say on his seven blogs and three Twitter accounts: @RobMorrowLiberty, @LBJCIAKilledJFK, and @Morrow321.
In addition to political sleuthing, Morrow isn’t shy about “celebrating female beauty” on his Twitter account by publishing photo after photo of women. Since the national exposure of Morrow’s online persona, he’s been called a misogynist and a sexist.
“I like girls with big titties. That’s my reply. I celebrate feminine beauty. I like busty, beautiful women in bikinis and lingerie,” Morrow said.
But rest assured that he only views women sexually when he’s horny. “I’m not really thinking about having sex with the woman at the drive-thru window but if there’s a beautiful, busty woman jumping around on my bed in a bikini or lingerie outfit, I might want to fuck her.”
Apart from this aspect of his online persona, his goal as a newly elected county official is to be society’s national watchdog.
“I plan to use the chairman spot of the Travis County Republican Party to educate people on the criminality and evilness of the Bush crime family and also the Clinton’s too,” the co-author of The Clinton’s War on Women said.
The Travis County Republican Party is now desperately trying to oust the incoming chairman.
“We will explore every single option that exists, whether it be persuading him to resign, trying to force him to resign, constraining his power, removing his ability to spend money or resisting any attempt for him to access data or our social media account,” Republican Vice Chair Matt Mackowiak told the Texas Tribune. “I’m treating this as a coup and as a hostile takeover.”
Morrow sees these claims as a “full-frontal assault,” and while he expressed his willingness to reconcile their differences, it’s hard to say whether they will get that far.
“They’re really not that relevant which is why this is so funny,” Morrow said. “They want to kick me out of a job as the circus master for a collective [of] neutered gerbils. I think it’s hilarious.”
Illustration by Jason Reed