beto o'rourke 2020

StudioZola/Shutterstock (Licensed)

Beto O’Rourke kicks off 2020 campaign with plan to get people laid

Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of thirst traps.


Alyse Stanley


Posted on Mar 14, 2019   Updated on May 20, 2021, 5:02 pm CDT

Texas state Rep. Beto O’Rourke officially announced his bid for 2020 Democratic nomination for president on Thursday, and his campaign is already going viral thanks to his plan to get rural Americans on Tinder.

O’Rourke made his first campaign stop in Keokuk, Iowa, to answer questions from some of the state’s more rural population. In one answer, he detailed similar hardships caused by limited broadband access in his native Texas, how it prevents many of the state’s rural residents from accessing essential online resources such as how to start local businesses or complete their education.

The biggest drawback, though?

“They can’t go to Tinder and find a date tonight to find that special person who’s going to make the difference in their lives,” he can be heard saying in an MSNBC clip as he makes his now-signature emphatic hand gestures.

No one in the audience seemed to have the heart to inform him the dating app isn’t exactly where people go to find long-lasting fulfilling relationships. Or that to use the Tinder app you need a cell network, not broadband.

But don’t worry, internet: O’Rourke just wants every American to get a chance at love. Finally, a candidate for the thirsty masses. So far, it’s the hardest any 2020 presidential candidate has campaigned to give people more access to send nudes.


Share this article
*First Published: Mar 14, 2019, 6:23 pm CDT