- Trump is already fundraising off the Mueller report—even though no one’s seen it 9 Months Ago
- Michael Avenatti charged with trying to extort $20 million from Nike 9 Months Ago
- Logan Paul says being a YouTuber is ‘wack’ 9 Months Ago
- James Comey posts from a forest in wake of Mueller report Today 10:35 AM
- These are the only online dating sites worth your time Today 10:29 AM
- Jameela Jamil sparks conversation about women having to make the ‘boyfriend excuse’ Today 10:23 AM
- Trump-Russia conspiracy theorists think they’ve found secrets in the Mueller report Today 9:32 AM
- Report: YouTube is done competing with Netflix, Amazon Today 9:27 AM
- Netflix drama ‘Coisa Mais Linda’ explores Bossa Nova clubs and women’s rights in Brazil Today 8:08 AM
- The best ‘Game of Thrones’ memes to get you pumped for season 8 Today 7:30 AM
- Amazon Echo Show (2nd Gen) vs Google Home Hub: Which is better? Today 7:00 AM
- Solange sings along to Ariana Grande on Instagram Stories—and fans are obsessed Today 6:37 AM
- How to stream the entire ’30 For 30′ series for free Today 6:30 AM
- Swipe This! My happiest Facebook Memories are making me miserable Today 6:30 AM
- Musketeers: Welcome to the global Elon Musk fan network Today 6:00 AM
‘My car was eaten by animals,’ said the Speaker.
Ryan was addressing the Economic Club of Washington D.C. when the subject of his security detail came up. As Speaker of the House, Ryan, who is stepping down from the position, mentioned that he hadn’t driven a car in three years.
“So I had an old Chevy Suburban,” Ryan told the audience, “which was made in Janesville [Janesville WI, where Ryan was born]. We used to make those. I kept it at my Mom’s house, but my mom’s a snowbird and she would go turn it on every month just to keep it going. She goes to Florida for the winter, she comes back, tries it, she says ‘Ah, it’s just dead you gotta tow this thing in’. So I towed it into the dealer. They put it up and they realized a family of woodchucks lived in the underbody of my Suburban, and they ate all the wiring out of it! So my car was eaten by animals.”
You can check out the anecdote at approximately 41 minutes into the video below.
The D.C. audience got a good laugh out of the story, but Twitter seems to be enjoying it on a whole different level.
Woodchucks… welcome to the resistance…
— jayedcoins 🌯 (@jayedcoins) July 12, 2018
Cool how the beasts of the field are rising up As Was Foretold in the Prophecy
— Kyle Marquis (@Moochava) July 12, 2018
RISE MY CHILDREN. RISE AND FEAST https://t.co/ivx5MfpWYx
— rae paoletta (@PAYOLETTER) July 12, 2018
But which animal ate his soul though?
— Eartha’s LoveKitt (@EffBrandi) July 12, 2018
#Resist is apparently interspecies.
— Kevin (@Beer4TheBeerGod) July 12, 2018
— sophie (@philo_soph_er) July 13, 2018
Vote for woodchucks! pic.twitter.com/ob04EA2Y1J
— Katalin Pota ☮️ (@katalin_pota) July 12, 2018
Ryan said he plans to get a Ford F-150 to replace the Suburban, but his other plans are a bit vaguer. When asked if he was considering a presidential run in 2020, he said he had no such plans. “You never say never to such things,” he said at the time, “but I really, really do not have it in my mind.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do next,” Ryan said at the end of the interview. “But it’s going to be something.”
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.