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Dennis Skley/Flickr

Learn from this woman’s mistake and resist the temptation to Facebook-stalk your crush

Sometimes your crush's Facebook page is better left un-glimpsed.


Josh Katzowitz

Internet Culture

Posted on Jan 11, 2016   Updated on May 27, 2021, 9:25 am CDT

Unless you’ve completely left behind your high-school crushes, logging onto Facebook for some digital sleuthing is probably the biggest gamble you can make. If your crush is now with someone significantly less attractive or successful than you, then you’re the big winner. But if not—if your crush has paired up with someone who makes you look like a donkey—there’s nothing you can do but hate yourself forever.

Looking up that fondly remembered (or still-fantasized-about) crush is thus a risky endeavor, and by the looks of things in the video below, the woman doing the Facebook-stalking got the raw end of the deal.

“It’s like her skin is made of silk that has little sunrays woven into it.”

I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything as beautifully heartbreaking this year as that assessment of a crush’s new girlfriend—and that’s before this heartbroken woman discovers that the new girlfriend is a model.

But even if this woman has lost it all like an unlucky gambler at a casino, she can still try to laugh it off by commenting on the new girlfriend’s “really mediocre watercolor paintings.” After the casino has crushed you and taken all of your money and dignity, that’s about all you can do anyway.

H/T The Cut | Photo via Dennis Skley/Flickr (CC BY ND 2.0)

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*First Published: Jan 11, 2016, 4:59 pm CST