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Unanimous MVP. Unanimously unfashionable.
Unanimous NBA MVP Steph Curry has been pretty lackluster in the finals. Given the Golden State Warriors‘ unwavering dominance and record-setting season, it’s a bit surprising to see him sputter and falter in this critical match-up.
Turns out some seriously shitty footwear may be to blame—the kind of shoes that make you want to drill out all your tennis balls and start stockpiling walkers or learn how to install a new garage door opener.
Meet the newly unveiled Under Armour Curry 2 Low “Chef” kicks. They’re hideous.
Dad jokes are plentiful, given a father’s desire for comfort, zero style, and the utmost embarrassment of their child.
Perhaps Under Armour is eying that sweet Father’s Day cash. Maybe Curry is just that unfashionable. Riley is probably already having nightmares about these lows, begging her mom to make their $3.2 million house a shoeless palace.
For the love of your child, your fans, and the game, please take off the early bird specials, Curry. At least until the finals are over.
A former Weekend Editor at the Daily Dot, April Siese's reporting covers everything from technology and politics to web culture and humor. Her work has been published by Bustle, Uproxx, Death and Taxes, Rolling Stone, the Daily Beast, Thrillist, Atlas Obscura, and others. Siese joined Quartz in December 2016.