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Remember this thing? Sigh.
A year ago today, on Feb. 26, 2015, the Internet enjoyed a live broadcast of a llama chase in Arizona. The content mill came to a virtual standstill as all of us tuned in to root for the escaped ungulates. It was a most rare occasion in the media realm: a pleasant afternoon.
Naturally, it couldn’t last. That evening, websites latched onto the unexpectedly divisive question of whether a dress making the social-media rounds was black and blue or white and gold. Everyone had to weigh in.
So, which do you think it is?
Just kidding: Nobody cares.
#TheDress debate was the result of unfiltered content meeting a viral vacuum, and on the anniversary of its explosion, BuzzFeed is trying to manufacture a sequel. But it won’t work—as long as you don’t click.
BuzzFeed staged the Dress Part II. Stay woke.
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) February 26, 2016
Cynical as #TheJacket is—“What is it about Feb. 26 and weird optical illusions?” the BuzzFeed post asks, as if it were a matter of coincidence and not a transparent effort to line the dates up—it’s almost better than the other thirsty engagement plays we saw.
The article you’re currently reading is, of course, no different. The Daily Dot cannot ignore the legacy of #TheDress any more than its competitors can. We needed to add to the existing archive of 31 stories we’ve so far published about or in reference to this unholy trash garment.
And for that we are sorry. Because, once again: #TheDress doesn’t matter. It’s a phantom issue, a distraction from the dialogues that will further advance our species. Worse than that, it is a bad meme.
Are we doomed to forever analyze this disastrous confluence of perception and boredom? Yes.
What can we do? Great question.
I’d start by putting down your phone or closing your laptop. Then go hug someone you love—as tightly as you can. Finally, you’ll want to tear off all your clothes and run off toward the nearest highway.
Seemed to work for the llamas.
Photo via BuzzFeedBlue/YouTube
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'