Robert E. Lee on horseback

Photo via Michael Miley/Wikimedia (Public Domain)

The ideas the public suggested to replace Robert E. Lee High are as absurd as you’d think

When will people learn not to ask the public to name things?


David Britton

Internet Culture

Posted on Oct 3, 2017   Updated on May 22, 2021, 3:29 pm CDT

After voting 5-2 to keep the name “Robert E. Lee High School” in 2015, a San Antonio, Texas school board has now voted unanimously to change it. This change of heart came around the end of August, a few weeks after the tragedy in Charlottesville.

Having learned nothing from the Boaty McBoatface debacle, the school district decided to open up the naming process to the public. At least they had the good sense to lay down some criteria for what would be an acceptable name.

The Board set forth criteria that the name should reflect an idea, not a person. Current examples within NEISD include Academy of Creative Education and International School of the Americas. Name submissions should embody a wholesome image that would be expected to stand the test of time. A proposed name should be welcoming and identifiable to the general public.

Although, obviously, people were like “screw that” and submitted whatever they pleased. The school district says it received 2,443 submissions, of which only 542 met their guidelines. They also noted that many were “offensive” and  included “inappropriate references, such as profanity and racially charged statements.” If you want to check out the full list you can do that here.

Here’s a sampling of some of the names that didn’t make the cut.

Starfleet Academy

F.u.n. high school (no explanation given of what the acronym stands for)

Ulysses S. Grant High School

Keep the Name the same Assholes!!

High School #1

Batman High School

Karl Marx School of understanding and Compassion

Bruce Lee (a lot people thought this was a great idea)

Snowflake High School (another super popular suggestion)

Liberal Hysteria High School

History killer High School

Adolf hitler school for the training of the aryan children

Crybaby High

Barack Obama High School

Donald J. Trump High School

Jar Jar Binks Highschool

Traitorous Racist Loser High School

Learny Place

Leaders in Education Excellence (L.E.E) Academy

Chuck Norris Lee

Anti-racism High School

School For Cowardly, Panty Wetting, Liberal PC Fairies

We iz High

Stan Lee

High school for kids who can’t read very good

Michelle Obama High School

Pickle Rick High School (this would make for a great mascot)

The Birmingham school of Business School

Optimus Prime High School

I got 98 problems but a fuckin school name aint one.

Neil deGrasse Tyson High School

Ben Dover

San Antonio School for Gifted Youngsters

School of Wizardry and Magic

Saddam Hussein High School for Peace & Wisdom

Chad McThundercock

Peckerwood Traditional High School

Cuck High

Harambe memorial High School

Green Light of the Dreadnought

Bernie Sanders High School

Obert Lee high school

Vape City HS

and of course…

Schooly McSchoolface

The school board will meet on Oct. 9 to discuss the new name, which will go into effect next school year. Here’s hoping for Pickle Rick High.


H/T Fox 29

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*First Published: Oct 3, 2017, 2:18 pm CDT