- NRA calls Beto O’Rourke ‘AR-15 salesman of the month’ in wake of buyback proposal 2 Years Ago
- After 23 deaths, Sean Bean is tired of getting killed on-screen 2 Years Ago
- Stephen Miller has a girlfriend—and people are stunned Today 11:35 AM
- Mickey Rourke says Robert De Niro iced him out of ‘The Irishman’ Today 11:07 AM
- Conservative men are melting down over Elizabeth Warren’s speech Today 10:40 AM
- People are calling rapper Tekashi 69 a ‘snitch’ for outing gang members Today 10:16 AM
- Greta Thunberg tells Congress to ‘listen to the scientists’ about climate crisis Today 9:55 AM
- Maybe we should start taking Tom DeLonge seriously about UFOs Today 9:11 AM
- Get ready to argue about the alternate-history politics of HBO’s ‘Watchmen’ Today 8:53 AM
- Third instance of Justin Trudeau wearing racist makeup emerges after he apologized for first 2 Today 8:45 AM
- 6 must-watch college football games to stream this weekend Today 8:12 AM
- What is the Hinge dating app, and how does it work? Today 7:00 AM
- ‘Inside Bill’s Brain’ is nothing more than a Bill Gates infomercial Today 6:30 AM
- Swipe This! He hasn’t texted me back. Should I text him again? Today 6:00 AM
- New Loch Ness monster video may just confirm giant eel theory Wednesday 8:04 PM
After voting 5-2 to keep the name “Robert E. Lee High School” in 2015, a San Antonio, Texas school board has now voted unanimously to change it. This change of heart came around the end of August, a few weeks after the tragedy in Charlottesville.
Having learned nothing from the Boaty McBoatface debacle, the school district decided to open up the naming process to the public. At least they had the good sense to lay down some criteria for what would be an acceptable name.
The Board set forth criteria that the name should reflect an idea, not a person. Current examples within NEISD include Academy of Creative Education and International School of the Americas. Name submissions should embody a wholesome image that would be expected to stand the test of time. A proposed name should be welcoming and identifiable to the general public.
Although, obviously, people were like “screw that” and submitted whatever they pleased. The school district says it received 2,443 submissions, of which only 542 met their guidelines. They also noted that many were “offensive” and included “inappropriate references, such as profanity and racially charged statements.” If you want to check out the full list you can do that here.
Here’s a sampling of some of the names that didn’t make the cut.
F.u.n. high school (no explanation given of what the acronym stands for)
Ulysses S. Grant High School
Keep the Name the same Assholes!!
High School #1
Batman High School
Karl Marx School of understanding and Compassion
Bruce Lee (a lot people thought this was a great idea)
Snowflake High School (another super popular suggestion)
Liberal Hysteria High School
History killer High School
Adolf hitler school for the training of the aryan children
Barack Obama High School
Donald J. Trump High School
Jar Jar Binks Highschool
Traitorous Racist Loser High School
Leaders in Education Excellence (L.E.E) Academy
Chuck Norris Lee
Anti-racism High School
School For Cowardly, Panty Wetting, Liberal PC Fairies
We iz High
High school for kids who can’t read very good
Michelle Obama High School
Pickle Rick High School (this would make for a great mascot)
The Birmingham school of Business School
Optimus Prime High School
I got 98 problems but a fuckin school name aint one.
Neil deGrasse Tyson High School
San Antonio School for Gifted Youngsters
School of Wizardry and Magic
Saddam Hussein High School for Peace & Wisdom
Peckerwood Traditional High School
Harambe memorial High School
Green Light of the Dreadnought
Bernie Sanders High School
Obert Lee high school
Vape City HS
and of course…
The school board will meet on Oct. 9 to discuss the new name, which will go into effect next school year. Here’s hoping for Pickle Rick High.
H/T Fox 29
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.