Earlier this week, an Instagram photo of President Obama with Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi at the G7 summit reignited speculation that the commander in chief didn’t really quit smoking at the behest of his wife Michelle around the time of his 2008 campaign.
Is he holding a pack of cigarettes? Maybe!
The White House, of course, officially denied that Obama was about to light up in the picture. But why try to scrutinize this image for clues as to the president’s current nicotine intake levels? It’s not as if he keeps his smoking a secret. Trolling through the White House’s official Flickr photos, we found several glaring examples of the president “sneaking” a smoke.
I mean, here he is performing a cigarette magic trick for a hotel employee in Burma.
And here he’s… hmm. Well, it looks like he’s puffing away while admiring a Rembrandt in Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum. I don’t think you’re actually allowed to smoke in there—it’s bad for the paintings—but I guess that’s just one of the perks of running the free world, right?
Uh, wait, this isn’t good. Doesn’t Obama know how harmful second-hand smoke is to a growing child? Just plain irresponsible, and there’s no excuse for it. If I were this boy’s parents, I’d be more than a little outraged.
At least he wasn’t blowing smoke directly in that kid’s face, though. It’d be quite another thing to—oh, come on! You’ve got burning tobacco ash right next to a baby’s head here! How can you possibly think that’s OK?!
Jesus Christ, Mr. President—I know things have been frosty with Russia of late, but you don’t need three goddamn gaspers going when you’re having a tête-à-tête with Vladimir Putin. Get ahold of yourself, man.
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SIR. This is straight-up animal abuse! I cannot believe I voted for you—twice! Disgusting!!!
You know what, Obama? I give up. Smoke wherever you want, whenever you want. It’s clear nobody can stop you. But you’re a complete monster.
Wow. Just wow.
Illustration by Max Fleishman | Photos via The White House/Flickr | Remixes by Jason Reed