Japan’s themed restaurant game is pretty strong. Quirky dining experiences run the gamut of everything from kawaii mascots to things that really don’t need a goddamn formal dining location, like this canned food hideout—perfect for the aspiring ’40s-era vagabond, not so great for those seeking more than a desperation meal.
The country’s latest offering just so happens to be this nude-friendly hotspot in Tokyo called the Amrita. The restaurant takes its name from the Hindu tale of Amrit, a sweet immortality nectar imbibed by the gods themselves. Its website pivots straight into biblical language, however. Adam and Eve are evoked, as are organic dishes that never quite get described.
The Amrita is more content to talk about all the shit you can’t do there—such as who’s not allowed inside—rather than discussing the most important part of a meal: the fucking food.
According to stringent guidelines, those under 18 and over 60 years of age are not allowed to dine at the Amrita. Neither are prospective patrons weighing 15 kilograms over what the restaurant considers a “normal” bodyweight. Those with tattoos can GTFO before plunking down the non-refundable meal purchase Amrita sticks customers with when making a reservation.
If you pass the arbitrary test to eat whatever the fuck organic bullshit the Amrita decides to serve you (a single radish?) there are still more hoops to jump through before you get to dining in your birthday suit, which you actually don’t get to do anyway.
Phones and keys are to be locked away. Oh, and you’re gonna have to put on some Amrita-issued paper underwear when you sit down, adding an odd infantile bent to the dining experience.
The Amrita is scheduled to open on July 29 and has heavily boasted about its “Men of Amrita”: muscle-bound waiters wearing g-strings. In other words, this naked restaurant doesn’t get a good goddamn thing right about its own concept. I’m calling bullshit.