On a summer Wednesday when the big news included the release of an important report on the Iraq War and the police shooting of a black man in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Twitter was abuzz with discussion of … ham sandwiches and Taylor Swift’s vagina. Huh, what?
If you don’t know “what all the talk about ham sandwiches and vagoos is about,” allow me to explain.
It all started when a white supremacist troll, “Jennifer Mayers,” celebrated the police killing of Alton Sterling, 37, in a convenience store parking lot. Mayers had “gone viral” a few weeks before with a blog post celebrating Christy Sheats, the pro-gun mom who killed her two daughters in June.
Mayers assumed, although this hasn’t been reported anywhere, that Sheats shot her daughters for “race mixing” with black men and that Sheats was justified. So that’s the type of troll we’re dealing with here.
Combing through the troll’s timeline, someone unearthed this gem:
Whoa. This singularly awful tweet manages to combine a bizarre display of slut-shaming and profound ignorance of the female anatomy. Good internet posters immediately went to work on the sad ham-labia:
♫ I want to live— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) July 6, 2016
I want to give
I've a vagina
made of ham so cold
It's hanging out a ways
despite a lift
Keeps me searching
for V of gold ♫
Taylor Swift appears to offer a far better sandwich value. https://t.co/0c5kHsq21I— Les Orchard (@lmorchard) July 6, 2016
DID YOU CUT THE BREAD LENGTHWISE??? DID YOU MAKE HAM SANDWICH HOTDOGS???? WHAT KIND OF GOD TOLD YOU TO DO THAT????? https://t.co/7iu1pHUJ6t— DVS (@DVSblast) July 6, 2016
the one on the right is a cuban sandwich from 7-eleven. the one on the left is also that, except slutty— Quattro Vegeta (@notrevenant) July 6, 2016
All this ham sandwich stuff has led to a lot of sub tweets.— Paul Ford (@ftrain) July 6, 2016
I very much want to believe that “Jennifer Mayers,” with a timeline full of over-the-top racism and cartoonish white supremacy, is a vile parody account and not just another Donald Trump supporter on Twitter. I don’t want these tweets to be sincere:
And there’s a good chance they’re not. The only Jennifer Mayers I could find listed in Baton Rouge—with Facebook photos that look nothing like the woman in the @southern_mayers avatar, and whose Facebook posts don’t espouse any racist sentiments—didn’t return a request for comment. The fact that “Mayers” lists her city as Baton Rouge, where Sterling was shot dead by cops Tuesday, is another clue that she could be trolling.
Either way, this ham sandwich analogy is dumb as hell. Those are ham labia, not a ham vagina, and the association between “vaginal looseness” and promiscuity is largely a myth.