Elementary school sends parents sarcastic ‘hurt feelings report’ for ‘whiners’

What a bunch of bullies.

Feb 29, 2020, 11:25 am*

Internet Culture

David Britton 

David Britton

Photo via Jerry Ferguson/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Is your child a “crybaby” who’s always getting his “pansy ass feelings” hurt? Well if he goes to Lombardy Elementary School in Delaware, there’s a simple form you can fill out to take care of that. Imagine the relief you’ll feel when you let your child know that if his feelings are ever hurt, “an EMS team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your legs and eating their way up your candy ass.”

The form was sent (accidentally, according to the school) to parents as an attachment to an email about an upcoming school event called “Exercise Your Brain Day.” An event that seems like the staff might need more than the students.

The parent who forwarded the letter to the News Journal didn’t want to be identified (no doubt because they’re afraid of being called a thin-skinned wimp), but said it was “completely offensive and mocks children who are bullied in schools.”

Variations of the form have existed on the Internet for years, and Brandywine School District spokeswoman Alexis Andrianopoulos said that it originated from “a source external to the school” and that it was “not an official document of Lombardy Elementary or the Brandywine School District.” 

“This was an embarrassing mistake, but it was just that – a mistake,” she told the News Journal in an email. “It should not have happened, and we apologize for the error.”

What a bunch of stupid doo-doo heads.

H/T USA Today | Photo via Jerry Ferguson/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Share this article
*First Published: Feb 18, 2016, 4:32 pm