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What if Donald Trump’s orange combover became sentient and crawled off his head? When you look at the Megalopygidae (or flannel moth) caterpillar, it doesn’t seem so far-fetched. The unusual larva—also known as a woolly slug or puss caterpillar—has more recently been nicknamed the “Donald Trump” caterpillar for reasons almost too obvious to mention.
In addition to its striking appearance, Geek.com reported, the Trumpesque bug is “venomous” and “highly toxic,” which prevents it from being eaten by birds or elected president of the United States. It’s nasty all right:
Touching Trump (the caterpillar version, of course) results in immediate skin irritation and pain that can feel as bad as a broken bone and radiates across an entire limb. It is followed by burning, swelling, nausea, rashes, blisters, headaches, and in extreme cases chest pain and difficulty breathing. The situation is made worse by the venomous spines remaining in the skin, with cellophane tape being the best method of removal.
In a way, this little guy has been very successful. But do we really want its feelers anywhere near the evolutionary codes? A scary thought.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'