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The world’s most obnoxious toy just stopped a robbery
Big Mouth Billy Bass: Hero fish.
It’s been a few years since the national obsession with Big Mouth Billy Bass—an animatronic, motion-activated, wall-mounted fish that sings the songs “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and “Take Me To The River”—really peaked. But Billy is far from retired. In fact, these days he’s fighting crime.
According to Minnesota’s Star Tribune, a would-be burglar broke down the front door of a bait shop called Hooked on Fishing, only to be thwarted by Billy Bass. The burlar knocked the novelty fish off the wall, and the subsequent wriggling and singing scared him off. He took neither merchandise nor cash left in “a very visible spot,” according to Sgt. Tom Claymon of the Olmsted County Sheriff’s Office.
“There were plenty of things to take, but nothing was missing … other than Billy’s pride,” Claymon said, adding that the noble toy “took one for the team.” It just goes to show there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but there’s only one Billy. (And by “one,” I mean like a million.)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'