woman speaking caption 'When I was a 12 in a relationship w a 26yr old woman and she proposed to me and then started crying when my response was 'I'm 12'' (l)woman speaking caption 'When I was a 12 in a relationship w a 26yr old woman and she proposed to me and then started crying when my response was 'I'm 12'' (c) woman speaking caption 'When I was a 12 in a relationship w a 26yr old woman and she proposed to me and then started crying when my response was 'I'm 12'' (r)

@ritzydadonn/TikTok

‘We don’t talk about the women and we need to talk about it’: Creator says she was groomed by 26-year-old at age 12

‘Trying to find excuses for it to be right. But it’s not.’

 

Tricia Crimmins

IRL

In a now-viral video, a queer New York TikToker says that she was groomed by a 26-year-old woman when she was 12 years old.

Ritzy (@ritzydadonn) posted a TikTok on Aug. 12 sharing details about the relationship. Ritzy says the woman “proposed” to her “then started crying when [Ritzy’s] response was ‘I’m 12.’”

Ritzy’s revelation coincides with the recent uptick in TikTok videos about grooming, thanks to Demi Lovato’s song about the subject, “29.” On Tuesday, Ritzy’s video had over 700,000 views.

@ritzydadonn

♬ original sound – shy

Ritzy’s TikTok bio says that she’s 19, indicating that the relationship took place sometime around 2015.

In follow-up videos, Ritzy explains that the woman who initiated a relationship with her when she was 12 was the cousin of a girl whom Ritzy babysat. Ritzy says that the woman kissed her and then started texting her. The TikToker adds that after six months, the woman proposed to her and that they “stayed together” for a couple of months after the proposal, at times long distance.

Ritzy also says that her grandmother called the police about the illegal relationship “multiple times,” “but they didn’t really care because it was a female and female relationship.”

“We need to bring more awareness to the age gap, child [sexual assault] shit that we got goin’ on in the LGBTQ community,” Ritzy says in a TikTok. “It’s not OK.”

In another TikTok, Ritzy says that the woman provided her with alcohol and weed during their relationship and that the woman still follows her on social media.

In an Instagram message to the Daily Dot, Ritzy said she was shocked by how her story resonated with viewers and that illegal, predatory relationships can sometimes go unnoticed between queer couples.

“If u see a grown man walking down the street kissing a child you know it’s wrong. When u see it instead with a grown woman and a little girl, [people] don’t know how to react,” Ritzy told the Daily Dot. “They try to hope ‘maybe that’s her sister’ or ‘maybe she looks young for her age.’ Trying to find excuses for it to be right. But it’s not.”

The New York Police Department disregarded her grandmother’s claims of sexual assault and grooming, Ritzy said.

“What we not gon’ do is pretend like the cops actually give a fuck because we’re gay,” Ritzy says in another TikTok.

In a statement to the Daily Dot, the NYPD said that it urges victims of rape and sexual assault to file a police report but that they cannot release any information possibly related to Ritzy because of federal and state laws that protect the privacy and safety of those involved, including the victim.

Commenters on Ritzy’s video told her how sorry they were that she had been groomed and sexually assaulted. Many also asked her if she was all right.

Others agreed with Ritzy’s point about illegal relationships between children and adult women and said they related to her video.

“We don’t talk about the women and we need to talk about it,” @im_a_bad_bitch_whos_fat commented.

“Why did I meet a girl when I was 13 & she was literally 18 & talking about marriage like… BABE IM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!” @chubby_cubbz wrote.

“I was 15 with a whole 25 year old woman mad at me cause I couldn’t drive to see her even though driving age was 16,” @nakatrod commented.


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