Young woman in front of Facebook posts

@karpoozy/TikTok

‘You’re teaching them that love is conditional’: TikToker calls out parents for rehoming their adopted kids on Facebook

'You casually abandon them?'

 

Brooke Sjoberg

IRL

Published Oct 6, 2021   Updated Oct 13, 2021, 12:14 pm CDT

A video of a woman criticizing adoptive parents for trying to rehome their adopted children has gained viral attention with 134,100 views on TikTok.

The poster, @Karpoozy, is apparently adopted, stating in her bio that she is a Greek adoptee. In the video, @Karpoozy pulls up screengrabs of Facebook posts where adopters ask for advice in rehoming their children or vent about their frustrations in rehoming them.

“I’m just here to remind everyone that adopted children get returned, oftentimes through Facebook,” she said. “Facebook. I’ve got a few posts I want to share. Buckle up, let’s read.”

She then reads several Facebook posts, where people who claim to have had their adopted children for up to 10 years are looking to rehome their children. Some even express frustration that their former children have appeared to do better in their new homes, such as one poster who is frustrated that the child is eating in his new home, as they state they had some difficulty getting the child to do so in theirs.

“You might be asking yourself, ‘Why do people rehome their adopted children?'” she says. “A few different reasons: The child’s physical health, their emotional health, the adopted parents just don’t feel like having the child anymore. Many say it’s due to aggressive behavior and defiance. Now, adopted youth are far more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD or ODD, which are both externalized in disorders that may present challenging behaviors. On top of that, any child that comes from trauma, which you can expect when you are adopting, may have explosive behaviors because they do not know how to self-regulate, and they have been through trauma.”

@Karpoozy said this shows a lack of preplanning on the part of the adoptive parents.

“This really shows me that people who are disrupting these adoptions were not prepared, they did not plan ahead, they did not do their research, because they are returning, rehoming, disrupting an adoption. Some of these people rehoming these kids have had them for six, eight, 10 years. That’s a fair chunk of a child’s life. You’re teaching them that love is conditional, you can be re-abandoned, further traumatizing a child.”

One commenter questioned the nature of @Karpoozy’s information stating that it was all anecdotal and they wanted to see statistical information. According to the U.S. Child Welfare Information Gateway, estimates for the number of adoptions that are disrupted total between 11% and 25% across different studies.

Others couldn’t believe that after having a child for 10 years someone would “casually abandon them.”

Other commenters identified themselves as having been adopted and returned as children, expressing that the situation was very painful for them. Some had not been actually returned but instead had their adoptive parents joke about returning them when they weren’t behaving a certain way or doing specific things.

“This happened to me when I was 16,” one commenter wrote. “That day broke me.”

The Daily Dot has reached out to @KArpoozy via TikTok and Instagram DM regarding the video.


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*First Published: Oct 6, 2021, 8:18 am CDT