dating app screenshot (l) (r) man and woman at a cafe with phones (m)

@capocloutt/Tiktok Song_about_summer/Shutterstock (Licensed)

‘That’s kinda what you do on a date bro’: Man tells woman he won’t pay after she won’t go to his place for first date

'Oh my god that’s so embarrassing for him.'


Rebekah Harding


Posted on Mar 30, 2022   Updated on Apr 13, 2022, 9:10 am CDT

A TikToker shared a now-viral voice message from a man who suggested she come to his house for a first date because he didn’t want to pay for food or drinks, sparking discussion in the comments. 

In the clip, posted by Lesley (@capocloutt) on Tuesday, she plays a screen recording of a Snapchat audio message that her prospective date sent her, saying that he wouldn’t pay for a date right away. 

The text overlay reads, “When you tell him you’re not going over to his place as a first date.”

“For me, I’m not gonna just right away go out with someone and pay for their food and pay for their drinks,” the man says in the audio message. “I’m about to leave anyway, so I can’t be spending money like that.”

The video has over 198,000 views as of Wednesday, with users critiquing the man’s dating beliefs in the comments.

“Men be like ‘I don’t want to spend money on someone I don’t know,’” one user wrote. “Sir, why are you looking to go out with someone you don’t know then!”

“Guys make it seem like paying is such a big deal. If one date is going to put you in financial ruin, you have bigger problems sir,” another said.

“That’s kinda what you do on a date bro,” a third wrote.

In the comments section, Lesley agreed with users that he saved her a lot of time by showing his intentions early in the process of getting to know each other.

“Saved me a lot of time,” Lesley wrote. “Literally like if you’re broke why are you on a dating app.”

Lesley told the Daily Dot in a TikTok direct message that she blocked the man after receiving the audio message.

“Because of the way dating apps are set up, people feel like they have more choices and are less inclined to demonstrate interest through planning a date,” Lesley told the Daily Dot. “Cut your losses and move on because the right man will go above and beyond for the woman he’s interested in.”

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*First Published: Mar 30, 2022, 2:52 pm CDT