Leslie Jones doesn’t want John Mayer’s crappy songs

Leslie Jones, like many of us, would rather John Mayer shut up and f**k her already.

Early this morning, Jones tweeted a photo of her and the songwriter/noted sex-haver, and said Mayer had offered to write a song about her. “I think he should have sex with me instead am I wrong?” she asked, giving voice to the millions who think he’s hot but would rather stub a cigarette out on their arm than listen to “Your Body Is A Wonderland” again.

Jones also took to the stage at the Emmy’s last night to joke about Ernst & Young’s protection of the Emmy award winners. “Don’t nobody wanna know about boring Emmy secrets. But since you good at keeping things safe, I got a job for you—my Twitter account,” she said. “Y’all over here using your skills to protect Best Voiceover in a Sitcom. Meanwhile, I’m butt-naked on CNN.” The joke was in reference to the numerous times the comedian has recently faced abuse online. 

Maybe Ernst & Young could give Twitter some security tips. 

Jaya Saxena

Jaya Saxena

Jaya Saxena is a lifestyle writer and editor whose work focuses primarily on women's issues and web culture. Her writing has appeared in GQ, ELLE, the Toast, the New Yorker, Tthe Hairpin, BuzzFeed, Racked, Eater, Catapult, and others. She is the co-author of 'Dad Magazine,' the author of 'The Book Of Lost Recipes,' and the co-author of 'Basic Witches.'