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Conservatives call it ‘big brother’ with seemingly no self-awareness.
A bill recently submitted for consideration by Georgia’s state government would make men think twice before seeking some quality alone time, and its naysayers are missing the point.
Sponsored by Georgia state Rep. Dar’Shun Kendrick, the two-line proposal dictates any guy over 55 “shall immediately report to the county sheriff or local law enforcement agency when such male releases sperm from his testicles,” WGBA reports. Way to kill the mood.
Five female, Democratic state representatives sponsored HB 604 in retaliation for the Georgia House passing what’s been dubbed the “heartbeat abortion bill.” It restricts women from getting an abortion after the fetus’ heartbeat can be detected, which is around six weeks pregnant. The truncated time frame combined with a litany of other restrictions passed in recent years would cut off many women’s access to the procedure.
HB 604 is Kendrick’s latest effort in what she’s called a “testicular bill of rights.” While she acknowledges it has a slim chance of passing, the legislation she proposes enacts similar restrictions on men’s biological functions to that of the heartbeat abortion bill.
“You want our wombs? We’re coming for your testicles!” Kendrick tweeted earlier this month. Other drafted bills include a measure to ban vasectomies and brand a man’s choice to have sex without a condom “aggravated assault.”
Ggggooooodddd morning! Introducing my "testicular bill of rights" legislative package. You want some regulation of bodies and choice? Done! pic.twitter.com/5E8HBRSc9l
— Dar'shun Kendrick (@DarshunKendrick) March 11, 2019
You want our wombs? We're coming for your testicles | Opinion https://t.co/BkLUmxNUlG. My 1st Op-Ed since being elected in 2010. They got really truthful with the headline! I am apologetically fierce. It'll cost me "friends"…and I am ok with that.
— Dar'shun Kendrick (@DarshunKendrick) March 12, 2019
While the representatives intended the bill to draw attention to the double standard in legislation restricting access to abortion, the irony whizzed over many conservatives’ heads. Descriptors like “sick,” “twisted,” and “crazy” were thrown around by Twitter users, with many failing to see the parallels between restricting ejaculation and preventing abortion.
Just when you thought #Democrats couldn't get any more sick and twisted Georgia Democrats introduce a bill called the Testicular bill of rights wait until you read what's involved #DemocratsAreDangerous #LiberalismIsAMentalDisorder #TesticularBillofRights #georgia #ProLife #MAGA
— Revelation410shotgun (@Revelation410s1) March 14, 2019
— Lyn (@Charlie_Barkles) March 19, 2019
What did you have for breakfast, Crack?
— Magasaurus Rex (@RafoneMichael) March 21, 2019
He's not wrong. HB-604 is the most radical bill I have heard to be proposed. So now not wearing a condom will be "aggravated assault"? That's crazy, and I hope this bill will be tossed. On the other hand, HB-481 needs to be passed. Stop killing babies.
— Buzzfeed Employee: Natalie Patrice Crump (@rightwinger420) March 20, 2019
See this is taking Big Brother too far.. I would NEVER report my sperm to anyone…Georgia bill would require men to report every release of sperm to officers https://t.co/0gwqCJukaq
— Mike Jones (@atlanta1) March 17, 2019
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Alyse Stanley is a video game and culture reporter based in Virginia with words at Polygon and USGamer. When she’s not writing about memes, she edits Unwinnable’s monthly magazine. You can follow her on Twitter @pithyalyse.