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Sometimes, all you can do is laugh at yourself.
At least that’s what ASAP Rocky is doing after an alleged leaked sex tape of the rapper began making its rounds on the internet late Wednesday. The Twitterverse was quick to comment on Rocky’s—er—subpar performance in bed.
But Rocky wasn’t letting the haters win. Without confirming or denying it’s him in the video—which has been since-deleted from Pornhub—Rocky took on the role of his penis’ “defense attorney” via Twitter.
“MY PENIS AND I WOKE UP 2 THE ALARMING DISTURBANCE OF A VIDEO CLIP 2DAY .AS HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY WE’RE PREPARED 2 DENY ANY SLOW STROKES OR LACK OF KILLIN THE P*SSY .A LONG LIST OF SATISFIED WOMEN CAN ATTEST TOO,” he tweeted Thursday evening. “BUT THE REAL PUNCHLINE IS SEEING PPL WHO NEVER F*CKED HIM RATE HIM.”
MY PENIS AND I WOKE UP 2 THE ALARMING DISTURBANCE OF A VIDEO CLIP 2DAY .AS HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY WE’RE PREPARED 2 DENY ANY SLOW STROKES OR LACK OF KILLIN THE PUSSY .A LONG LIST OF SATISFIED WOMEN CAN ATTEST TOO. BUT THE REAL PUNCHLINE IS SEEING PPL WHO NEVER FUCKED HIM RATE HIM 😮— LORD FLACKO JODYE II (@asvpxrocky) December 19, 2019
For what it’s worth, the video in question doesn’t show any faces. But some fans have pointed out that the man in the clip has tattoos similar to the rapper’s, according to Complex. Also, the man’s voice sounds a lot like Rocky’s, they note.
Despite the lack of tangible evidence that Rocky is a victim of revenge porn, people on Twitter had a lot of say.
“So ASAP Rocky Sex tape leaked and apparently his stroke game is weak. Everybody disappointed but did y’all really think mr ‘I don’t care about black people bc I live in Beverly Hills now’ really put work in? Come on son,” tweeted user, @TheMrMilan.
So ASAP Rocky Sex tape leaked and apparently his stroke game is weak. Everybody disappointed but did y’all really think mr “I don’t care about black people bc I live in Beverly Hills now” really put work in? Come on son.— Mistletop (@TheMrMilan) December 19, 2019
now asap rocky gotta voluntarily drop another sextape to make up for this one cus baby.... pic.twitter.com/eb3eJLWJPu— SAI (@sairusbliss1) December 19, 2019
just saw asap rocky’s sextape ima drop the link, but it isn’t anything impressive pic.twitter.com/CrmyJdkQ15— nicki minaj (@suckaworld) December 19, 2019
Just saw Asap Rocky's sex tape and it was super duper wack. Don't even waste your time looking for it. His stroke is weak. pic.twitter.com/3JgKcFToxn— I Luh God ✨ (@aVeryRichBish) December 19, 2019
apparently asap rocky's sex tape got leaked and apparently his stroke game is weak so apparently im gonna forget that video exists— h (@whatvrthoughts) December 19, 2019
Unfortunately, Rocky defending the video didn’t stop the memes.
Asap writing this tweet. pic.twitter.com/4PemIbVWDm— Moharozay (@Moharozayy) December 19, 2019
Rocky when he seen the video of himself pic.twitter.com/gqxJgEyZLC— . (@NotDanielPineda) December 19, 2019
Rocky has spoken extensively about his sex life. In a recent episode of Untold Stories of Hip Hop, he said he was a sex addict and has been for “some time.”
“These are things that people stay away from. They don’t like to admit. I can’t be embarrassed about it,” he said. “I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t do nothin’ that I’m not proud of speaking of.”
Alexandra Samuels is a political reporter at the Texas Tribune and contributor to the Daily Dot, where she started as an intern covering politics in the summer of 2016. She enjoys Marvel movies, baking, and reading murder-mystery novels.