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Wrap it up.
Are dating apps leaving you wanting? That’s probably because they’re trying to pair you with people and not with what you truly desire: a burrito. Lucky for you, My Burrito Finder is here to finally fill the void you’ve been feeling for oh so long.
My Burrito Finder is the Tinder of burritos, always directing you to the best combination of meat, rice, and tortilla in your area. There is no swiping left or right, because that would be silly; who would ever swipe left on a delicious burrito?
Instead, My Burrito Finder uses Google Maps and Yelp to help you locate your next love. Looking for a burrito to meet up with tonight? You can browse through your zip code to find the perfect destination for a candle-lit dinner during which your mouth can really get to know the meaty wrap of its dreams.
If you’re looking for a quickie instead, you can forget Yelp’s ratings and opt instead to just get directions to the nearest available quick fix, because sometimes love just can’t wait. Just make sure you wipe the guacamole off your face before you go back to work.
Forget dating apps. Forget social networks. Forget every last app you have installed on your phone. My Burrito Finder is here, and it’s what we’ve been waiting for all along. True love never tasted so good.
AJ Dellinger is a seasoned technology writer whose work has appeared in Digital Trends, International Business Times, and Newsweek. In 2018, he joined Gizmodo as the nights and weekend editor.