Warning: This article contains adult subject matter that may be NSFW
Interested in buying a new vibrator or Fleshlight? Wanna piss off your right-wing state government in the process? Look no further than this auction on Equip-Bid.com, where the state of Kansas is trying to recoup tax losses from an adult novelty business by auctioning off thousands of sex toys and adult DVDs.
The Topeka Capital-Journal reports that the state is looking to recoup more than $163,900 in state taxes, which Larry Minkoff, the former owner of a string of Bang adult novelty stores, failed to pay. Minkoff’s business was seized back in July, and the state is holding a public auction of his merchandise to pay back its tax losses.
Kansas doesn’t exactly have a strong record of sex-positivity: The state offers “abstinence-plus” education, which requires that schools preach abstinence while teaching kids about STIs and birth control, and Governor Sam Brownback has often demonstrated his staunch opposition to homosexuality.
So it’s unsurprising that the state is less than thrilled about the prospect of selling sex toys online. Government spokesperson Eileen Hawley told the Capital-Journal that the state does “not agree with the type of business involved here.” Nonetheless, an auction seems like the best possible solution, as the state cannot return the sex toys to the owner or “legally destroy the property.” And boy, what property it is:
The online site lists about 400 lots—individual lots can contain dozens of items—that include the Pipedream Fantasy Love Swing, books, hundreds of DVDs, sex and drinking games, a wide assortment of sexually oriented equipment, carrying cases for devices, the Glass Pleasure Wand, bundles of lingerie and the Cyberskin Foot Stroker.
Other items available for purchase are a “Titanmen ass service butt plug,”a “Sex and Mischief strap-on dildo kit,” and an “anal invader with cock cage,” all of which will presumably be used in the same illicit same-sex practices that Governor Brownback frowns upon. Congratulations, Governor Brownback. You’ve just made a bunch of kinky gay Kansans very happy.