If there’s anything we’ve learned in the past few years or so, it’s that boy, people sure do love their Apple products. There was the Chinese couple that sold their daughter to buy an iPhone, and the man who stabbed a mugger to death after he stole his son’s smartphone. Now, Betabeat is reporting that anonymous horny folks have taken to the casual encounters section of Craigslist to sell sex in exchange for the new iPhone 6.
We here at the Daily Dot were curious as to what other lengths crazed Apple fans were willing to go to to get their gooey paws on the new gadget. So we plumbed the depths of the Craigslist barter section in various American cities to see what else people were selling in exchange for the iPhone 6. It didn’t take long for it to get weird.
1) Sex. This one’s not so surprising, but some of these get awfully specific: This guy, for instance, says he’s “willing to have some fun and give oral, bottom, and foreplay in exchange for a brand new iPhone6 64GB, gold color. All you have to do is your part and I will do my part, nothing more or less.” You know how your boss always writes on your performance review that you need to be more direct and assertive in asking for what you want? Yeah, this guy doesn’t have that problem.
2) A Tiffany and Co. wedding band. This ring retails for a little more than $1,000 (it also has an engraving that says “Mad About You!”), but the owner is willing to exchange it for an iPhone, a Macbook Air, or a “gift card… of equal worth.” Good job, Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser. Way to be singlehandedly responsible for ending this poor dude’s relationship.
3) A snake. At least now we know what this guy’s been up to. (Also, this dude is selling, like, 49 of these.)
4.) A vaporizer. At least I think that’s a vaporizer? Looks more like one of those early 20th century dildoes they’d use to cure female hysteria. But it’s been a few years since this old girl hit up a vape, so forgive me for sounding like a fuddy-dud.
5) An ugly bicycle.
6) An ugly Louis Vuitton bag.
7) A bow and arrow. Remember the ending of We Need To Talk About Kevin? Well this will end in a movie called We Need To Talk About How The Guy Trying To Trade An iPhone For A Murder Weapon On Craigslist Is A Sociopath.
8) Another ugly bicycle. Or “motorcicle,” as it says in the listing. Which is very different from a “motorcycle.” For one thing, it has super cool flames on it.
9) Louboutins. Better to trade iPhones for Louboutins than blowjobs, I suppose.
H/T Betabeat | Photo by MattysFlicks/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)