- ‘Weathering With You’ blends fantasy and realism in a magical love story Saturday 6:18 PM
- Kidnapped teen used Snapchat to get rescued Saturday 4:35 PM
- What fans do and don’t want to see in future ‘Far Cry’ installments Saturday 4:26 PM
- Aaron Carter accused of stealing lion art for merch Saturday 3:10 PM
- Instagram’s hidden like counts were inspired by a ‘Black Mirror’ episode Saturday 2:06 PM
- Student says they were expelled for tricking teacher into making inappropriate TikTok Saturday 12:26 PM
- Space Force uniforms relentlessly mocked, memed Saturday 10:52 AM
- Man flamed after admitting he called police on Target employee over a toothbrush Saturday 9:10 AM
- Netflix’s ‘Vivir Dos Veces’ searches for a last chance at first love Saturday 8:00 AM
- Camila Cabello must do more about her racist history Saturday 6:00 AM
- Instagram and Facebook are reportedly blocking queer ads Friday 8:58 PM
- Review: Tyler Perry’s ‘A Fall From Grace’ is both nonsensical and utterly predictable Friday 6:48 PM
- Is Hulu censoring the Iran episode of Anthony Bourdain’s ‘Parts Unknown’? Friday 6:05 PM
- Trump admin celebrates Michelle Obama’s birthday by proposing rollback of her signature initiative Friday 4:01 PM
- TSA apologizes after agent grabs indigenous woman’s braids, says ‘giddyup’ Friday 3:28 PM
Creepy new ‘smart bed’ will know everything about how you sleep
I’m no technophobe, but I can’t say I ever dreamed of a future where mattresses are computerized. Nevertheless, our march toward the “Internet of Things”—that world in which household fixtures will all be connected in a network of digital convenience (and vulnerabilities)—continues with the game-changing “Smart Interactive Bed” from Balluga.
You may be impressed by the short animation below, or like me, you might recoil at the dead-eyed blinking of a female figure straight out of the uncanny valley. Though some features (climate control!) sound appealing, the ambient light show is like a scene from Poltergeist, while the security function calls to mind a fallout shelter or some sleek, totalitarian dystopia.
As always, the bed manufacturers leave out what we really want to know: If the Balluga “monitors and controls every aspect of your sleep experience,” which is unsettling enough, then what’s it like to have sex on this thing? Because I didn’t sign up for a threesome with a robot.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'