- Angela Abar wrestles with destiny in ‘Watchmen’ episode 8 Sunday 9:05 PM
- Guy who runs Trump Organization Twitter account caught hyping up own tweet Sunday 4:51 PM
- People found out how tall Olaf is–and now ‘Frozen’ is terrifying Sunday 3:41 PM
- Rapper Juice WRLD dead at 21 Sunday 3:02 PM
- Embody Andrew Yang, fight other presidential candidates in video game Sunday 2:33 PM
- Ariana Grande spoke with TikTok teen who looks exactly like her Sunday 1:00 PM
- Beyoncé accused of paying dancers ‘low rates’ Sunday 11:58 AM
- Timmy Thick blasted for saying the N-word in comeback video Sunday 9:11 AM
- Netflix’s ‘The Confession Killer’ is a devastating and well-built portrait of a con artist Sunday 8:00 AM
- Swipe This! I’m ashamed to tell anyone about my online shopping habit Sunday 6:00 AM
- UPS facing backlash for thanking police after employee killed in shootout Saturday 5:02 PM
- Sanders campaign fires staffer after anti-Semitic, homophobic tweets surface Saturday 3:13 PM
- Brother Nature was attacked, says everyone just watched with phones out Saturday 2:45 PM
- Ryan Reynolds’ gin company hires Peloton wife for ad Saturday 1:24 PM
- Ex-vegan YouTuber accused of fraud after following meat-only diet Saturday 1:11 PM
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog takes World Cup fans down a peg
His bark is worse than Luis Suárez’s bite.
The anti-soccer set here in the United States has alternately mocked and dismissed the sport for the duration of the 2014 World Cup—but now they can step aside and let a professional do some heavy lifting: Everyone’s favorite rubber canine puppet is back and ruder than ever.
Not bothering to travel to Brazil itself, presumably because he’s banned from every major airline, the Robert Smigel-voiced, cigar-chomping character known as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visited Astoria, Queens, to remind some day-drinking fans that they have “no gooooooooaaals.” The results, as one might hope, are as hilarious as they are racially insensitive.
Whatever your position on the planet’s most popular game, one thing’s for sure: Nobody interviewed in these segments has ever managed to snatch victory from the jaws of Triumph.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'