R.L. Stine haunts Twitter with 14-tweet short story

The king of teen screams flexes with a tweet-turning tale about... a sandwich.

 

Ramon Ramirez

Streaming

Published Oct 29, 2014   Updated May 30, 2021, 7:52 am CDT

Master of (young adult) horror R.L. Stine spent Tuesday evening tweeting out an original, short story. It’s about a sandwich, required 14 tweets to flesh out, and is generally delightful. The gimmick is timely, sharply executed, and it’s one he’s pulled before. I’ll hang up and listen.

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I am going to try to write a story live on Twitter now. The story is called “What’s In My Sandwich?”…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

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People call me a loser, but that’s going to change. I was in a little diner downtown and I ordered an egg salad sandwich…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..I was about to bite down on it when I noticed something moving in the egg salad. Was I imagining it? No…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..I saw a hairy, three-fingered claw push a clump of egg out of the way. I saw two round black eyes. A fur-covered face…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..The creature poked out of the sandwich, sending egg salad tumbling onto the plate. It was the size of a fat beetle…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

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..But it wasn’t an insect. It had a furry head and eyes that peered into mine. Before I could react, a second creature poked out…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..And then a third. My sandwich was infested. My stomach lurched. “Is everything okay?” the waitress asked…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..”Yes. Fine,” I said. “Could you wrap this sandwich to go?” Finding hairy things in your sandwich is gross…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..But I knew this sandwich would make me a winner. The sandwich would turn my life around…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..Discovering a new life form had to make me rich. I carried the sandwich home carefully and set it on a table…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

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..I didn’t hear my son Willy come home. When I finally saw him, he had egg salad on his face…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..Yes, he ate the sandwich. If only I could have stopped him. Now the creatures are biting holes in his stomach…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..They are biting holes in Willy from the inside, poking their furry heads out of his stomach, chewing his flesh…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..Okay. A minor setback. But I’m not giving up. Willy is screaming in agony. The poor guy is terrified…

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

..I’m so excited. Where is my camera? Willy is going to make me rich. ##

— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) October 29, 2014

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The 71-year-old Goosebumps writer has sold 400 million books and also co-created the underrated Eureeka’s Castle. But he’s yet to match the blistering highs and harrowing turns of 1994’s immortal Ghost Beach.

Photo via John Dalton/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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*First Published: Oct 29, 2014, 7:00 am CDT