Department of Defense bans Nickelback from being played

Nickelback

Photo via Nickelback/Facebook

BTW

An officer at the Department of Defense has apparently heard enough Nickelback.

A memo was reportedly issued on Feb. 14 that “banned playing of terrible ‘rock groups’” in the command post—not just during work hours, it clarified, but at all times. There are five groups singled out in the memorandum, which quickly made its way to Twitter

The details have been redacted and smudged out, so it’s difficult to verify the authenticity of the document, but it’s just absurd enough to be true. (I do wonder if he draws a distinction between Smash Mouth and “All Star” memes, which are enough to drive anyone a little loopy.) Police, in particular, have a serious distaste for Nickelback. Authorities in Canada have proposed forcing drunk drivers to listen to the band as punishment, while the group is wanted in parts of Australia for “crimes against music.”

But let’s get a couple of things straight: It might not be suitable for a workplace environment, but Korn’s eponymous debut and most of 1998’s Follow the Leader holds up, and Slipknot’s first two records still make me want to punch through walls like I’m still 17.   

I can’t say the same for Nickelback and Creed. I don’t care how many records they’ve sold. They really are “terrible.” But something tells me the Department of Defense probably has more pressing matters to address. 

Upstream
From Our VICE Partners

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.