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Worst case scenario: A zebra gets loose and injuries one of your staff. Best case scenario: We have a someone dress up as a zebra and chase them around the zoo.
This whole thing was done as training exercise—so that the staff would be prepared if a zebra ever did get loose—with zoo employee Yumi Tamura filling in for the runway zebra.”The zebra is an animal that easily panics,” she said.”I myself felt panicky when acting it out.”
Here’s a simple guide to follow in case your zebra ever gets loose.
Hold up a net and make a bunch of noise to scare the zebra.
When the zebra inevitably blows past you, administer first aid to your injured coworker.
Shoot the zebra with some sort of dart and wait for him/her to pass out.
Make sure to poke his butt in case he’s faking.
Throw a net over him and have your six strongest employees lift him onto the back of a truck.
And, of course, don’t forget to wear your hardhat.
It’s also important to note that, if your lion ever escapes, it’s permissible to just skip ahead to the dart phase.
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.