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Be the envy of every wizard on your block.
Parents anxious over the outlandish requests on their kids’ Christmas lists can breathe a little easier now, because barring some kind of elaborate Craigslist hoax—and how often does one come across those?—a pair of unicorns are up for sale in New Hampshire.
First, the bad news: These majestic creatures come as a set, and they’re going to cost you $930,000. Each. Though when you consider that even one such specimen would be priceless, getting both for under $2 million actually sounds like a bargain.
The seller, who appears to hail from Goffstown, just outside Manchester, is by all indications an experienced breeder and unicorn expert. Here are the relevant details, should you be in the market for pets that are ready to aid you on a fantastic quest:
“We are selling 2 purebred unicorns. Male is 3 years old named Pagasus. Female is 5 years old and named Daisy. Price of $930,000 USD is per unicorn. Unicorns are hand fed from birth, and require just as much attention if you do decide to welcome a unicorn into your home. We are the only fully licensed unicorn breeder in North America, and are NUBAA certified. Call now to be put on the waiting list, on which wait times start at 9 months out. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE. We also offer unicorn eggs for purchase.”
Personally, I wouldn’t want the stress of trying to hatch a baby unicorn myself, cute and wondrous as that experience may be. On the question of training, however, we notice that there’s no mention of the adults being housebroken. Buyer beware!
Photo via Craigslist
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'