Nimrod Kamer has been called the “worst person on Twitter.” In this weekly installment, he unfollows the best people on the ‘net, the ones with 10K followers or more (fair game). He might loathe some of these people, but he is not in-loathe with them whatsoever.
When a verified person dies, many other verified people tweet their condolences. Not to the deceased or their families (since he or she already died and their families won’t be reading tweets), but mainly to the media to pick up on and read out loud in the following newscycle. It’s time to unfollow these death-motivated celebrities.
Lily Allen. Verified. 4.62M followers minus 1.
When grieving for someone else, first @ yourself, as Lily showed all of us upon Peaches Geldof’s death:
@lilyallen My thoughts are with Peaches’ family at this awful time. I hope they get to grieve in peace. Peaches, rest in peace gorgeous girl
— Lily Allen (@lilyallen) April 7, 2014
Allen “hoped” the family got to grieve in peace (nobody really suggested they couldn’t, even the Daily Mail didn’t bother). She ended by addressing the tweet to Peaches in a religiously awkward way, as if she could hear her. It was kind of like the Metro (the London daily paper), which assumed Peaches and her mom will meet again in an afterlife of some sort.
The cover of the Metro tomorrow is – how to put this fairly – beyond awful, hideous, crass and garbage. pic.twitter.com/YwY73iB21p #Peaches
— Rupert (@RupertMyers) April 7, 2014
Tracey Thorn. Verified. 47.1K followers minus 1.
She ooofed it:
Ooof horrible news. Poor thing. Poor all of them.
— Tracey Thorn (@tracey_thorn) April 7, 2014
“Poor all of them” sounds like a curse. It only took her a few hours to get back to her #normcore self and tweet about MasterChef. If one uses the same platform to mourn loved ones and post seriously about MasterChef, then maybe its time to deactivate.
I’m trying to work out whether what happens to the winners of #Masterchef is better or worse than what happens to the winners of X Factor
— Tracey Thorn (@tracey_thorn) April 9, 2014
Fabolous. Verified. 2.75M followers minus 1.
Not a true fan:
Know I’m late but it’s never too late.. RIP Ultimate Warrior #NoTalkAllWrestle
— Fabolous (@myfabolouslife) April 10, 2014
Unfollow Fab. I don’t know what he does or who he is (his name isn’t searchable), but it’s actually really lame that he waited so long with the tweet-epitaph (#tweetpath) on the Ultimate Warrior’s death. Mr. Fab proved he never followed that career in the first place, using hashtag #NoTalkAllWrestle. Although, everyone knows the Warrior was all about #TalkWrestle, as you can see here:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/cF4ZTcuhixc
Mike Roe. Verified. 3.02K followers minus 1.
Mr. Roe just went ahead and tweeted what no one was thinking to themselves:
Not talking about steroids when the Ultimate Warrior dies is like not talking about guns after a school shooting.
— Mike Roe (@MikeRoe) April 10, 2014
I don’t think he was being cynical, just facetious. It’s a classic case of facetious phew (= facetious exhaustipation). Warrior Entertainment might haunt him forever for this.
Statement from Warrior Entertainment. I am shocked and profoundly saddened by the death of my friend (cont) https://t.co/9hiuGSvym2
— The Ultimate Warrior (@UltimateWarrior) April 10, 2014