What kids really believe about sex will make you fear for humanity

If you’re looking for cold, hard proof that abstinence-only sex education is ineffective, no need to dig through peer-reviewed studies and stats. Just head to the Internet instead, where there’s a wealth of accurate, intelligent, and comprehensive information related to all things birds and bees. Oh, did I say that the Internet has all this information? I meant that’s where it goes to die.

From “how is babby formed” to Yahoo! Answers threads discussing “how to grow a condom,” for years adolescents have been flocking to the Internet to find answers to their sexual queries, only to come up empty. The latest evidence of how much our sex education system has failed the youth of America (and, by extension, their sex partners)? This Reddit thread, where users discuss the worst misconceptions they’ve ever heard about sex.

Below, we’ve compiled and helpfully debunked some of the best (or worst, depending on your perspective) of the bunch. If you grew up in one of the 23 percent of school districts that offer abstinence-only sex ed (or if you’re stupid, either one), you very well may have still believed some of these. You’re welcome. 

1) Oral contraception is taken through the vagina.

Believe it or not, you swallow it—hence the word “oral.”


 

2) Swallowing semen is “negative calories.”

Actually, the average ejaculation is about one teaspoon, or five to seven calories. “Negative calories” isn’t really a thing.


 

3) Having sex with a girl while she’s menstruating might make you a hunchback.


 

4) You can get pregnant via anal sex.

Also, attempting to do so will momentarily transform your gynecologist into a third-rate Catskills comedian, as seen in the punchline for the anecdote below.

(No, anal can’t get you pregnant.)


 

5) This is how gay men have sex.

Not that this never happens, but it definitely counts as foreplay, not intercourse.


 

6) Anal sex causes cancer. 

False! But the best part about the Plan B thing is that it’s actually (kinda) true. 


 

H/T Reddit | Photo by Massachusetts Secretary of Education/Flickr (CC BY – NC – SA 2.0)

EJ Dickson

EJ Dickson

EJ Dickson is a writer and editor who primarily covers sex, dating, and relationships, with a special focus on the intersection of intimacy and technology. She served as the Daily Dot’s IRL editor from January 2014 to July 2015. Her work has since appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Mic, Bustle, Romper, and Men’s Health.