If you’re reading this article, you don’t need me to explain the absence of logic required to believe that all Muslims are complicit in ISIS’s crimes. But to recap: Let’s say I eat a hamburger that didn’t taste very good. I’m faced with two choices. Either I understand that there are millions of different hamburgers out there, and that the poor quality of this one has no bearing on the bounty, agency, and quality of all other potential options, or I choose to believe that every hamburger on Earth is bad and evil.
This seems pretty simple, but unfortunately, we’re living in a country where a major political candidate is proposing draconian, transparently fascist policy like CLOSE THE BORDERS TO ALL THAT IDENTIFY AS MUSLIM, and somehow it has not immediately destroyed his campaign. This has left the international Islamic community feeling a little exasperated—which is exactly where Twitter comes in.
It started when ISIS leader Abubakr Al Baghdadi released an audio file encouraging every Muslim on Earth to drop their reasonable lives and join the fight against peace, prosperity, and human empathy.
ISIS leaders: We urgently call upon every Muslim to join the fight, especially those in the land of the two shrines (Saudi Arabia), rise.
— İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي (@iyad_elbaghdadi) December 26, 2015
A pretty ridiculous plea, right? Well, it immediately lead to a bunch of muslims using the #SorryISIS hashtag to explain exactly why they weren’t interested in joining the world’s most cosmopolitan hate group.
Sorry #ISIS. This Muslim is just waking up. Needs coffee. Also, it’s Christmas weekend family time. Run along now. https://t.co/gUODLPdDy6
— Salman Anees Soz (@SalmanSoz) December 26, 2015
The perfect brush-off to ISIS’s false brotherhood and the silly Westerners who are gullible enough to believe all Muslims are sympathetic to the cause. And it only gets better from here.
I’ve got Star Wars on Sunday. Maybe later. https://t.co/UQ71PkUi4j
— SAZ (@my55cents) December 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/JayLikesIt/status/681164440675442689
https://twitter.com/mehreenkasana/status/681377441647063040
Sorry, busy reading the Quran…you know…that book you’ve never opened? https://t.co/Aoc8zqugL7
— Lulu (@LuluJaybird) December 27, 2015
@iyad_elbaghdadi sorry, but I can’t trust a group that uses a deflating football and Arabic comic sans as their logo
— 1000 Revolutions (@Trumpflakes) December 26, 2015
@iyad_elbaghdadi I have to masturbate before. Could take a while. My whole life
— Karl Mag’s | Слава України 🇺🇦 🤝 🇩🇪 🤝 🇮🇱 (@thomasmatzka) December 27, 2015
ISIS is a very scary thing that does prompt some uncomfortable questions about religion, imperialism, hatred, and identity. Unfortunately, those questions can bleed out of their rhetorical margins and start affecting our neighbors. It’s depressing and frustrating, but I like to think that we can help douse unimaginable hatred by excusing ourselves from jihad to go watch the new Star Wars with our friends.
Illustration by Max Fleishman
