- Thousands of Uber users have reported sexual assaults, company says Friday 5:40 PM
- ‘Astronomy Club’ reformats the sketch show Friday 4:58 PM
- Trump is concerned America’s toilets too weak Friday 3:53 PM
- Twitter users claim Billie Eilish is ‘over’ because she didn’t like Lady Gaga’s meat dress Friday 2:53 PM
- Nikki Haley says the Confederate flag was fine until Dylann Roof ‘hijacked’ it Friday 2:49 PM
- How emotional labor discourse spawned multiple memes Friday 2:22 PM
- Video of YouTuber Onision threatening ex-girlfriend resurfaces Friday 2:03 PM
- Marianne Williamson embraces anti-vax stance on Facebook Friday 1:58 PM
- Peloton Husband is worried memes will have ‘repercussions’ for his career Friday 1:55 PM
- ‘The Mandalorian’ stumbles as it returns to a familiar planet Friday 1:47 PM
- The best app controlled Christmas lights for the holidays Friday 1:04 PM
- Go green and save green with solar-powered Christmas lights Friday 1:02 PM
- Bloomberg on diversity in 2020 race: ‘Don’t complain to me’ Friday 12:40 PM
- Midge flaunts the worst side of herself in ‘Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’ season 3 Friday 12:17 PM
- Social media companies continue to fail to police fake behavior, study finds Friday 10:44 AM
Poker pros will bet on anything, even when they’re not playing the game. Consider, for example, one professional poker player’s recent bet that he could consume $1,000 worth of food from McDonald’s in 36 hours.
Mike Noori, who’s won more than $400,000 playing live, accepted the challenge from World Poker Tour director Matt Savage. The conditions included a no-blender rule, and drinks wouldn’t count. Noori was also limited to McDonald’s locations in Flagstaff, Arizona, in case you were thinking he could run up the tab by going abroad.
Noori made it clear up front that he planned to put half of the budget into apple slices, the McDonald’s offering with the lowest calories-to-dollars ratio, but he was still facing down an insane 70,000 total calories.
The challenge attracted a ton of betting action, even with the odds set at 5-to-1 against Noori. Cardplayer.com reported that “more than $200,000 worth of action was booked for the bet,” although Noori claimed his personal stake was only “a tiny piece” of that.
Dressed in a Hamburglar costume, Noori finally began the challenge over the weekend. He broadcast part of the event live on Periscope, and the videos are sickening:
“The McHamburglar” started off with a mashed-up bowl of apple slices (about $50 worth), and supplemented that with five chicken breasts, some parfaits, and a “wall of guacamole.”
Unfortunately, that’s about where he hit the wall. At 10 hours in, he had only eaten $90 of food, and reported that his mental state was “shaky.”https://twitter.com/McHamburgler1k/status/865961746065899520
After a break to play golf, he added in one more late-night McDonald’s run, choking down 4 nuggets, a McFlurry, and half of a small fry. The last straw appears to have been a Filet-O-Fish sandwich. He only took one bite before throwing it away.
Noori finally gave up at around $100 of food consumed, disappointing everyone who bet on him.
The important thing, though, is that he lived to tell the tale. And, he claimed on Twitter, he raised $14,000 for charity in the process. Not bad for a disgusting day’s work.
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.