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What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done to impress someone? If you didn’t answer “jump into a panda’s enclosure at the zoo,” then congratulations—you are not this deeply unintelligent man.
Seeking to wow his two women companions, the unidentified bro leaped over a tall fence and a deep ditch to approach Mei Ling, a 12-year-old giant panda, at the Nanchang Zoo in southeast China, the People’s Daily reported. Evidently unsatisfied with Mei Ling’s chill attitude about the whole thing, the guy then poked the endangered animal until it decided to play by biting, clawing, and pinning his uninvited guest to the ground.
If our wannabe Romeo had bothered to read any of the zoo’s information about giant pandas, he might have known that they can be extremely dangerous, despite their bamboo diet and seemingly cuddly demeanor. In the end, though, he escaped with shredded pants and no serious injury.
Unless you count his pride, that is. Because even Lucy Lawless owned him.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'