- A TikTok of a girl getting an abortion is going viral—and the internet is divided Friday 3:06 PM
- FCC proposes $200 million fine for T-Mobile, others over data sharing Friday 3:03 PM
- Which ‘Love is Blind’ couples are still together? Friday 2:01 PM
- Review: ‘The Invisible Man’ reboot is thrilling but basic Friday 1:25 PM
- Sex workers speak out after OnlyFans leak Friday 1:21 PM
- Normani addresses Camila Cabello’s racist social media posts Friday 1:07 PM
- Mike Huckabee’s defense of Trump’s coronavirus response will make you nauseous Friday 12:06 PM
- Gmail’s email filtering may affect what candidate emails you are seeing Friday 11:08 AM
- Woman shares aftermath of domestic abuse: ‘This is only to raise awareness’ Friday 10:40 AM
- Skai Jackson gets restraining order against Bhad Bhabie after death threat Friday 10:19 AM
- Taylor Swift shades Scooter Braun in ‘The Man’ video Friday 10:15 AM
- Porn stars are lining up behind Bernie Sanders Friday 10:10 AM
- YouTube mom says she ‘beat’ her 2-year-old daughter for ruining her makeup kit Friday 10:02 AM
- Ajit Pai’s net neutrality victory lap comes as his own repeal is under review Friday 9:20 AM
- Alissa Violet is in Italy—and fans are worried she’ll get coronavirus Friday 9:19 AM
Who would’ve thought that lizards were the original bros? As you’ll see in the video below, this scaly trio has been playing an everlasting game of roshambo with one another for over 15 million years, each using their own specialized strategy to attract a potential mate.
While the orange guys are 100 percent alpha male, aggressively setting up territories with a lot of females, yellows are essentially the sneak creeps that run up on unsuspecting mates, and blues are the lurkers that have their eyes set on only one love interest. So, in other words, basically every type of bro you’ve encountered in the club at some point in your life. By my reasoning, the monogamous blues low-key come across as the most bro-y, considering they actually risk their lives for each other and do push-ups to warn each other of intruders.
What’s most interesting is that neither of the three ever die out, with each one keeping the others in check thanks to certain advantages. Plus, the female lizards tend to go for the rarer lizard out of the three each season. As the video explains, “if blues are getting the upper hand, females go for yellows or oranges.”
It’s funny but also kind of sad, considering that humans are supposed to be the most evolved of all animals, and yet there are actual men who owe their strategies of wooing potential partners to lizards who’ve been in a sexual stalemate for a very, very, very long time. Life is an endless cycle of bros not being excellent to each other.
Elijah Watson is an internet culture and entertainment reporter. His work has been published by the Daily Beast, Vice, Complex, Bustle, Uproxx, and Okayplayer.