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The Galactic Empire protests May the Fourth

Styled as a classic attack ad, the Empire explains in a new video the truth behind the rebels and Jedi.


Lisa Granshaw

Internet Culture

The Galactic Empire wants you to say no to May the Fourth.

As fans around the world prepare to celebrate Star Wars Day on Saturday, the Empire has released a video message in response to the holiday. If the ominous music is any indication, you might want to listen up before donning your Jedi robes May 4.

Styled as a classic attack ad, the Empire explains that they just want you to know the truth behind the rebels and Jedi before you start celebrating their deeds. For example, did you know the Force is used for mind control, levitation of deadly weapons, and haunting the living after death? The Empire declares rebels, Jedi, and anyone who celebrates May the Fourth as traitors, and yes, just by wearing your Jedi robes you’re committing a punishable crime.

When they put it that way it doesn’t seem like much to celebrate, but maybe the fans have all been mind-controlled by ghosts with deadly weapons. Either way it’s clear the Emperor just doesn’t want anyone in the galaxy to have any fun. He gets to blow up planets, but we can’t throw a party?

I look forward to seeing a response from the Rebellion.

Screengrab via IGN/YouTube

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