Image via Compilation Land/YouTube Image via RIgoberto Gonzalez/YouTube Image via Marek Riha/YouTube Image via Terhell WantsAcupof Coffee/YouTube

Every animal video is great, but these are the best.

Before we begin, I want you to know I am the type of person who believes that every single animal video is, in the moment I am watching it, the greatest animal video of all time. They are all so delightfully pleasurable.

But, since this is the internet, we can’t just be passing out participation trophies to every single animal that walks in front of a camera while a person is filming. (Mainly because that would require something like a billion-and-a-half trophies and we don’t have that kind of engraving budget. But we would if we could.)

So, instead, here are our (my) favorites. Please note that best, in this case, covers a lot of things: it could mean an animal doing an adorable animal action. It could mean an animal acting all anthropomorphically. It could be an animal killing another animal. We support every kind of animal videos here.

Funny animal videos: The definitive ranking

37) Baby goat stampede! 

It’s three dozen baby goats frantically careening down a path on farm.

It’s great.

36) Baby turtle eats a strawberry 

This strawberry is about four times as large as this turtle. Imagine eating a strawberry four times as big as you. I bet that would make a good video, too.

35) Some baby bats wrapped in mini-blankets 

Cute, man. Cute as heck.

34) Baby elephant tries to eat its trunk 

I get not understanding your trunk at first. It’s weird. I get it. But come on, elephant. After the first try, you gotta stop trying to eat it.

33) ALL THE GOOD DOGS RIDE THE DOG TRAIN

All dogs go to the dog park, but one man takes his dogs there via the 1800s’ favorite mode of transportation. It’s called the dog train, and you will see why.

(Hint: It’s because it’s a train full of dogs.)

32) A windy gust knocks a duck family down the street

Don’t worry, they are OK. Or dead. This happened a long time ago. I don’t know how long ducks live.

31) Dancing dog loves the 1991 hit ‘Good Vibrations’ by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch 

This dog doesn’t know how embarrassing it is to enjoy hits from Mark Wahlberg’s short-lived musical career.

30) Turtle makes weird noise while humping another turtle 

Sometimes, you are so into doing it, you don’t care at all what comes out of your mouth.

29) Surprise cat is surprised every time you tickle it

Surprise! I’m a cat.

28) Penguin is afraid to jump off the diving board 

Diving into the water is not this penguin’s thing. That’s OK.

27) Cockatoo knocks over stacks of cups 

As he should.

26) Great camel interrupts interview 

Basically this camel does to an on-air interview what Donald Trump wants to do to every New York Times story about his Russia connections.

25) 5,000 ducks visit a pond for the very first time

All these ducks want to go swimming, and all these ducks get to go swimming.

24) Dog steps on sticky mousetraps, has to go clop clop clopping around the house 

Poor guy. Great video.

23) Dog pops 50 balloons in 3.3 seconds flat 

In the three seconds you spent watching this, you popped no balloons. Bad you.

22) Pet duck gets so happy when his owner comes home from school  

That is all.

21) Octopus escapes through a tiny hole on a boat

Octopuses are simultaneously terrifying and awesome.

20) A Russian man yells at his ducks to get in the barn 

Techinically this is a man video, and not an animal video, except, look how well-behaved this man’s ducks are. They are such well-behaved ducks.

19) Baby bear meets a baby deer 

Can you say play date!

18) Dog at a wedding pees on the bride’s dress  

Dog’s don’t do pomp, but they do do pee.

17) Ruthless cat straight up slaps an alligator in the face

For about the first minute of this, you are confident the cat is gonna be eaten. After all, it’s a little cat, going up against basically a dinosaur. I would take the dinosaur every time. But the cat puts a paw right to the face of the alligator? Why? because it’s a cat.

16) Monkey wearing a diaper attacks a Walmart employee 

Yeah it does.

15) Dog did not like his first taste of lemon one bit 

I guess you could say this dog is … soured on the concept of lemons as a pleasurable snack.

14) Ferret wants to jump really far but isn’t all that good at jumping

He tries so hard.

13) Micro pig babies eat some apples 

A healthy snack for an adorable couple of little pigs.

12) Raccoons drinking milk 

Fun fact: Raccoons love drinking milk. Bonus fun fact: I love watching raccoons drinking milk.

11) Bear nonchalantly catches a slice of bread 

Oh, hey, let’s toss that bear some bread. There’s no way he’ll coolly snag it with one hand like a boss.

Wrong.

10) Dolphin sticks his dick in dead fish to get off and is very happy about doing that

Far be it from me to endorse necrophilia after watching a video of a dolphin but … look how happy that dolphin is. (Editor’s note: Well that took a turn.)

9) Weird goat makes some weird goat noises

I’m not a goat doctor, so I don’t know if this a normal goat making weird noises, or a weird goat making normal noises, but either way, it’s weird.

8) Octopus leaps out of the water to drag a crab down to hell

This is exactly how an animal should act.

7) Penguin goes to a people restaurant

In South Africa, there’s a restaurant right by a penguin preserve. Sometimes, the penguins go into the restaurant, and they get shooed out with a broom. It’s sad.

They should get to go to the restaurant.

6) Hamlet the mini-pig goes down the stairs to eat oatmeal

Hamlet loves his oatmeal, but he doesn’t love the stairs.

5) Cat gets its head stuck inside a pint-sized ice cream container for a full minute

Going for that last bit of Häagen-Dazs can be tricky, especially without thumbs or a spoon. But never has it befuddled someone so much for so long. This cat dang near gives up on life because of it.

4) Raccoon straight up steals cat food in front of a bunch of cats

This raccoon just walks into a cat farm and starts eating all their cat food, and then starts mixing their cat food with their cat water to make a cat food paste and starts eating that. And when the cats are like “Hey, that’s our food,” the raccoon just hisses at them, because it’s a raccoon.

3) Whale tries to eat a baby

Good for it.

2) Two baby otters squeal while eating their breakfast, which is kibble in milk

The joy I get watching these otters smile is what I imagine being in heaven is like.

1) Violet climbs a rock

Violet, a baby goat, climbs her first rock.

Look how triumphant she is. Look how good she is at climbing her first rock. Look at her tiny little hop down.

She is the best.

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